32w2d -- Less than a month to go!

Sunday marked 32 weeks! Where have the last 8 months gone? I can't believe I have less than a month left until I meet my little boys! I'm anxious, excited, scared, stressed, and happy all rolled into one beachball sized belly.

Yesterday (Monday) I had their weekly NST monitoring. Again, one baby wouldn't cooperate. Ronin decided he didn't want to wake up and get his butt moving. Orion passed within the first few minutes because he was feeling rather rowdy. When one of them fails we have to do the BPP. Again, Orion passed this in just over 3 minutes (they have 30 minutes to complete this test). Ronin did not pass. In a BPP they check for movement, muscle tone, breathing motions, and amniotic fluid amounts around each baby. Ronin did not pass the breathing motion portion. This meant that I had to go back to the doctor today and have the BPP ran again. Orion passed in less than 3 minutes today. He was moving and shaking and Ronin passed as well within about 10 minutes. I do admit, I sugared them up before the test and I ate about an hour before hand to hopefully make sure they were awake in there.

Also, on Monday Ronin was breech. I was in a lot of pain last night, especially my ribs and it felt like my skin was beyond stretched. I *knew* that Ronin had flipped around again. It was confirmed today during the BPP ultrasound. He is now flipped vertex again. Now the little turkey just needs to stay that way 1. so he doesn't cause me so much pain and 2. so I can deliver vaginally! It would be super nice to be able to have them the good old fashioned way (except with an epidural) than to have a c-section and deal with the recovery from that on top of trying to learn how to breastfeed and juggle two newborns.

On a side note, Thayer's mom gets in town tonight from Guam. We haven't seen her since our wedding in June 2009 and that was the only time I've even met her. It shall be interesting! I'm trying not to stress. The house is spotless and there are groceries in the cupboard. Not sure what more I could do.

32 weeks!

Clingy dogs... They definitely know something big is about to happen!

31 weeks - T-minus 35 days!

Well another week of pregnancy is complete. I am now at the 31 weeks mark and still going strong. I'm still not on mandatory bed rest, though I have decided it is in my best interest to take things easy. The babies are getting bigger. I'm not certain by how much, but next week is my growth scan.

Last Thursday I had an appointment with my regular OB (after my NST and fluid check). I see him every 2 weeks at this point and the MFM every week. They did the doppler and answered my questions. They measured my fundal height. I was 30w4d, but my uterus was measuring at 38 weeks. He said now that I'm measuring at full term I needed to have my hospital packed and in the car at all times. My body will essentially go into autopilot when it senses my uterus getting too big. Also, if anything happens to be found during the NSTs or growth scans that is cause for concern they will admit me either A) for more observation or B) to deliver the babies if it is bad enough. He just wants us to be prepared for these little boys to come at any time now. My induction/c-section is scheduled for July 8th. That is 35 days away. That's a little daunting to say the least
Today I had another appointment at the MFM office for an NST and fluid check. Both babies were being persnickety. For the first 10 minutes or so they did absolutely nothing. Guess they thought it was snooze time after waking me up at 5am. So the RN came in and buzzed them both. This got Orion moving, but all it did for Ronin was adjust his baseline heart rate. He just didn't want to wiggle. It was funny though, during the NST both babies ended up getting the hiccups so you could hear this little "hic, hic" tapping on the monitors along with the heartbeats. So after being monitored for 45 minutes and Ronin still not cooperating it was deemed that he failed the NST. When this happens they have to do a Bio-physical profile (BPP) on both of the babies. During this they look for the babies to both have practice breathing motions and to have a certain number of observable movements through ultrasound. Ronin was able to complete the entire test in just a few minutes. He decided it might be time to wake up. Then they went to check out Orion. He showed his practice breathing right away, but he thought it was still time to sleep and didn't want to move. He almost hit the time limit on the BPP before the tech was able to get enough observable movements out of him. I had to roll around on the US table from side to side, sit up, lay down all the way (which is incredibly uncomfortable) to try and get him to do something. If it's not one baby, it's the other! I do have good news, however. As of today, both babies are cephalic (head down). If they stay this way until July 8th then I will be able to have a vaginal delivery instead of a c-section!

I fear that Thayer are going to have our hands very full when these little boys arrive in a month because they are already very stubborn. (They get that from Thayer... lol).

School is now out, so I have the opportunity to take it easy. I've been trying to "nest" but it's difficult because most of the baby stuff is all packed away because we are going to be moving into our new house around July 1st. The ladies at work also through me a mini-baby shower. It was great! Everyone was so nice. I can't wait to go back in the fall and show off the babies.

Thayer and I are also preparing for the arrival of his mom. Her flight from Guam gets in June 11th. It's a little nerve-wracking because I've only met her once. I haven't seen her since I lost all the weight, and now I'm huge and pregnant. She's going to stay with us for a couple of days then drive out to the east coast to see the rest of the family and come back in time to see the babies before heading back overseas.

31 weeks!

29 weeks... Discordant :(

Today's Appointment

So today was our next growth scan. The last one was 4 weeks ago and the one prior to that was 7 weeks ago. 7 weeks ago the boys were 23% different in growth size. This was when they bumped up my monitoring to make sure they weren't having TTTS. Fast forward 3 weeks. The boys were now only 16% apart in growth, which was great. Today, however, we weren't as fortunate. The boys are now 28% different in growth. Anything above 20% is considered discordant. Their stats were: Orion (3lbs 8oz) and Ronin (2lbs. 9oz). The goodish news is that even though there is a big discrepancy in their growth, Ronin is still within normal range and Orion is a "big baby."

Because of the growth discrepancy I had to stay extra time so the boys could have extra tests ran on them. First they checked blood flow to both of their umbilical cords. This all looked good. Both boys had good supply. Then they did a Non-Stress Test (NST). This is where they hook up 2 fetal heart rate monitors and a contraction monitor. They then observe the babies for at least 20 minutes. During this time they are looking for accelerations in their heart rates (due to movement and activity on their part... when we move and exercise our heart rates go up, the same applies to the babies). They want these accelerations to occur twice within a 20 minute period. This is to also make sure they are getting adequate supply from the placenta. Baby B (or Ronin) passed with flying colors. He was active and had several accelerations. Baby A (Orion) wanted to be lazy. They had to use a little vibrator/buzzer thing (sorry don't remember the name) on my belly to try to get him awake and moving. It took 3 times because he just wanted to be lazy and hang out. (Little fatty... lol). After about 40 minutes of being hooked up it was determined that they were both doing fine.

I then went to talk to the MFM. My normal MFM wasn't in today so I saw the other one for the first time. He recommended that I go ahead and have the steroid shots done because I could come in at any time and have a baby in distress and have to deliver immediately and there wouldn't be time for the steroids. So.. I got one burny butt shot on the right side today and I get the other burny butt shot on the left side tomorrow. The steroid shots help their lungs (mainly) and other organs mature more quickly in case they do have to be taken even earlier than expected.

Basically what all of this means is my level of care is being bumped up significantly. I will go in every week for a NST and ultrasound to check amniotic fluid. I will have another growth scan in 3 weeks. Hopefully we can keep these boys in their cooking for the next 7 weeks when my C-section is scheduled. It definitely looks like it will be a c-section and not induction because both boys are still in breech position as well.

In Other News...

Saturday we had our maternity photoshoot. I have a few "sneak peaks" to share. The full album won't be available for us to view for about 2 weeks since she has to go through and edit all of the pictures. Here are the sneak peaks... it will also serve as my 29 week pictures!

Mother's Day and 28 weeks!

Mother's Day
This year was the very first Mother's Day I haven't spent in "mourning" in the last 4 years. Between battling infertility and losing our first baby, Mother's Day was just a day for me to crawl in a hole and pretend the world didn't exist. Going out wasn't worth the effort or tears. So many people have what I wanted and longed for, but couldn't seem to achieve. This year was better in that sense. I got to feel my little boys moving around in my belly, though they picked on me all day. At one point I think I had a baby butt in my ribs (Ronin's). I think he was flipping over and going back vertex. It hurt so bad for about 30 minutes. It hurt to move or breathe. The amount of room they have to move around and roll just isn't want it used to be. It is incredibly uncomfortable when they do it. I felt miserable off and on all day. It's worth it... or in the end I know it will be. At one point I had Thayer help me get into bed and lay down. I was in tears at that point. I refused to take anything. I'm just stubborn that way. I said to him, "But I just wanted one." Then I cried even harder because I realized what I had said and how horrible it sounded. It's not that I don't want them both, or love them both. I do. I would do anything for them. I would die for them. I would choose them over me any day of the week. I was just in pain.

28 Weeks!
These boys just keep on growing. Each little guy will now weigh about 2lbs 4oz. (I will know their exact weights next week on the 20th when I have their next growth scan.) My belly just gets bigger and bigger each week. My belly button is nearly non-existant. They love moving around and kicking me in the bladder. They love it when I eat.

Other Happenings!
Friday the 10th Thayer and I made our first trip to Labor and Delivery. At about 5pm I started having Braxton Hicks contractions every 15-20 minutes. I also began having pain down around my pelvic bone. I tried drinking water, laying on my side, and taking a short warm bath. None of that seemed to help so I called up to the hospital and talked to the on call RN in L&D. She said if it were a singleton pregnancy they would wait a little while longer, but since I'm carrying twins it would be best for me to go ahead and come in to get checked out. When we got there we went right back to the L&D triage area on the L&D floor. They had me pee in a cup then hooked me up to the baby doppler monitors and the contraction monitor. They also checked my vitals, which were great (including my blood pressure). We were monitored for about an hour before the on-call OB got there. The on-call OB happened to be my MFM. She checked my cervix and assured me that we were not in pre-term labor. My cervix was high, long, and closed, and I was 0% effaced. The RN and MFM both assured me that I did the right thing by going in because I am at such a greater risk of going into pre-term labor. I'm glad everything was okay in the end. Ironically, Saturday we went for our tour of L&D and the maturnity floor of the hospital.

This coming Saturday we have our maternity pictures scheduled. We are having them done at the park where we got married. I'm excited and hope they turn out cute. I'm glad I scheduled them early (29 weeks) because I already feel like I'm huge.

28 weeks!

22 weeks and growing

22 weeks

8 weeks

15 weeks

Belly Progression -- 7 weeks at a time!

Baby A (the big one) is now officially Orion Rey, and Baby B (our little bug) is now Ronin Lee. We were going to wait until they were born... but we decided Orion was a more fitting name for a chunker baby :)

I've decided to be POSITIVE! After doing a great deal of research I've found that if I can get these little babies to 27 weeks they would each have a 90% survival rate! Each week after that would be a bonus clear up to 32 weeks which would be the ultimate goal. We can do it babies! I still feel pretty helpless and guilty (though I know there's nothing I can/could do to make things better or different). That's my own burden to work out within myself.

Today I had a big interview at work for a teaching job. I really hope I get it. I really deserve some good news right about now. I did my best especially considering the type of day I had on Monday. I also had to talk to them about going in for weekly ultrasounds. The principal was super supportive. His wife even had the same OB and MFM as me with their first child. He told me not to worry about anything because that was the least of my concerns at the moment and to not stress. He said I know that it's hard not to stress but we'll take care of it. It's nice to have such a wonderful and supportive administration in the building I work in. I do hate feeling like a burden on them though. I know I shouldn't feel guilty because I'm only doing what is best for my boys, but I know the kids at work need me too. They need the consistency of me being there and helping them.

Other than Ronin being small, both were healthy and had good heart beats. Their amniotic fluid was good as were their hearts and other organs (bladder, kidneys). I guess I can take that as a small victory.

Decisions A Mom Shouldn't Have to Make

Today was my growth scan for the twins. It didn't go well. 4 weeks ago the twins were slightly different sizes. Baby A was 1oz. bigger than Baby B. Fast forward to today. Baby A is now 23% larger than Baby B. Baby A is 1lb.2oz while Baby B is only 14oz. My MFM said the point where they really start to get concerned is 25%, so we are right on the cusp. There are a lot of potential decisions that Thayer and I might have to make over the next month or two... none of which will be easy.

Starting now I go in every week for an ultrasound. The growth discrepancy may be the first sign that they are developing twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS). They want to be able to catch it early so I can have the laser surgery to sever the blood vessels that the twins share, thus getting rid of the TTTS. There are some problems with this, however.

They may never develop TTTS and may continue to grow accordingly... though be very different sizes. Or Baby B could quit growing. If that were the case we would have to decide to induce and have them very early (as early as 25 weeks) and try to save them both with all the risks of having super preemie babies OR we would could choose to continue the pregnancy longer knowing that Baby A would be completely safe and Baby B would have a significant chance of being stillborn.

There are some doctors researching doing the laser for twins that are just dis-coordinate in growth and there has been some success, but on the other side of the coin there are risks. In some cases, the severing of the blood vessels leads to death of the smaller baby because the only way it was getting nutrition was through those blood vessels via the bigger twin. Also, we don't know if I would even be a candidate for this surgery... but it's a decision we may have to make.

If the babies are even further off in size at my next growth scan (in 3 weeks... the one every week is to check for TTTS) they will give me the two steroid shots in preparation for pre-mature delivery to give them the best possible chance of survival.

So it may come down to us having to choose to completely save one baby and know the other will die, or try to save both babies knowing that they could both die from being born so early.

I don't want to bury either one of my babies. I don't want to be the mother of two (or three) angels. I want to be the mother of two miracles. Even though my doctor assured me there was/is nothing I could have or could be doing different to help them... I somehow feel like I've failed. I feel broken again. I feel like I can never do anything right. Why do bad things always happen to me? I'm tired of having to be strong. I'm tired of struggling. I just wanted something to go right for once, but it seems I can never catch a break.

Right now I'm scared to even keep buying things in preparation for two because what if one of them dies? What if I have two cribs and one sits unused and empty? What about the carseats we already have?

I think I've included just about everything the doctor told me. Right now I'm still trying to process it all. What we could really use right now is good thoughts and prayers.

21 weeks! - Buddha Belly

I officially can't see my feet. I knew this day would come. I just didn't think it would come this soon. I look like a little Buddha.

As far as how I'm feeling... good most days. I've had steadily increasing back pain and in the last week or so I feel a lot of pressure at times, especially when I'm on my feet a lot. Guess I need to sit down more at work. I've been trying really hard to sit as much as I can, but I don't want to feel lazy and like I'm not contributing. Babies are doing good as far as I know. I feel them moving more and more each day. I feel kicks here and there, especially in the evening.

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday with my regular OB and then one on Monday with my MFM (high risk OB). I'm not sure if they'll do an in-office sono at my appointment Friday or if they'll just use the fetal doppler to check their heartbeats. Monday I know I'll get a growth ultrasound just to make sure they're staying right on track. I'm so ready to reach 24 weeks. That is when the babies will reach viability. By this I mean they would have at least a decent chance of living if I were to have them. They would be very sick and spend a lot of time in the hospital, but pre-term labor would no longer mean certain death for them.

20 weeks - a little late

20 weeks... flat tummy is LOOONG gone...

So this blog is a little late as I will be 21 weeks tomorrow... better late than never I suppose!

I had another appointment/ultrasound with the MFM (high risk doctor) on Wednesday. The babies looked great. This time they were checking their amniotic fluid and their kidneys and bladder to make sure there is no twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) happening. Their heart rates were 134 and 145, which is normal. Both of their hearts looked good as well. That's still one of the coolest things to see... all 4 little chambers just pumping away like crazy. I'm feeling good. I do get some lower back discomfort, but other than that I feel great on most days. I've been feeling a lot more movement. I've even felt them on the outside twice now. Still no luck with Thayer being able to feel them. Hopefully that will happen soon. Yesterday he spent like 30 minutes just laying on the couch with me rubbing my belly.

I did some shopping for the nursery. I got $140 worth of stuff for $70 at Hobby Lobby. I found two perfect wall decals for their room, teal letters of R and O to go above their cribs with the other wall decor I plan on making (thank you Pinterest). I also found a twin picture frame so I bought one for myself and one for my mom. They say "Two peas in a pod" and are blue/cream striped with a little pea pod. So cute! It's so difficult to find things like that for twins! I also found two little woven baskets to help organize things on their changing table.

It's so nice to finally feel comfortable buying things for my boys. Most of my worries are gone. I have just a couple of more weeks until they reach viability outside of the womb. (24 weeks).

Now for pictures from my appointment! Little baby A was having an attitude again. He did not want his 3D picture taken and gave the tech a hard time. Both of them spent the whole appointment with their legs crossed. I guess they were being modest.

Baby A's profile... the blob to the left is Baby B (they were head to head this time).

Baby A's foot in 3D

Baby A in 3D

Baby B's profile

Baby B's face in 3D

Another shot of Baby B's face in 3D

Frugal Momma

So.. I will be a cloth diapering, cloth wipe using, baby food making, re-usable nursing pad wearing, consignment shopping, yardsale-ing momma.

Yesterday I made 80 cloth baby wipes. I figure if I have to do the laundry for the diapers I might as well save even more money and use cloth wipes when we are at home. The fabric cost me less than $12 since it was on sale. The solution for the cloth wipes is also very inexpensive; water, tea tree oil, baby soap.

I have now bought 24 cloth diapers so far. So that is just over half the stash I need. There are 10 more I want to order, including getting 2 Dr. Suess ones with Thing 1 and Thing 2 on them from Cat in the Hat. Those are definitely ones they will be getting pictures done in as well.

I've also decided we will be getting a Sam's Club membership. It will definitely save us lots of money with the twins, also they have a military discount on the membership and we still qualify for it! It will only cost us $25 a year. Between formula, baby food, meat, etc. we will definitely save way more than $25.

I'm finding and thinking of more and more ways that we can save money with having 2 babies. A teacher's salary isn't going to go too far.



I've also officially scheduled our maternity pictures. I'm having them done at 29 weeks. I'll be plenty big by then, but hopefully I won't be terribly uncomfortable or on bed rest at that point. If these end up being our only children I want to have lots of memories of the time, especially since it took so much work to get them here.

The babies also really, really love food. Within about 20-30 minutes after I eat they get pretty active. Sometimes it feels like they're doing flips in there. They've also found my bladder a few times already. My uterus is well above my belly button now, and my innie belly button is almost an outtie belly button already.

Over half-way there! - 19 weeks

We have officially passed the half-way mark of the this pregnancy. Because the babies will be born at no later than 37 weeks, I'm over half-way through!

Things are going great. The only difficulties I'm having is hip and back pain. I've gained just a little weight now. Not a whole lot, but some. I had bloodwork done at my last doctor's appointment and everything looked great. I wasn't low in any areas, but my glucose level was borderline. It was 71 and normal is 70-100. I hadn't eaten in about 2 hours so now I can really see how important it is for me to eat constantly.

I'm still a little shocked that we're having two boys. I know they're definitely going to be a handful. I'm must happy that they're healthy and I'm healthy. So far, this pregnancy has been pretty uneventful, other than the shock of having twins.

We've started making purchases. We have one crib and a changing table (we're not going to get the second crib until they're a little older because they'll share until they're 3-6 months old.) Lots of clothes that we've been given or gotten at consignment sales, a couple of pack n plays (one for our house, one for grandma's house), 2 infant carseats, a thingy for the bathtub, lots of receiving blankets, and some towels and wash cloths, swaddlers... lol.

19 weeks!

And They Are....

Identical Bouncing Baby Boys!!

Their names will be Orion Rey and Ronin Lee!!!!

We found out today that the Clomid had absolutely NOTHING to do with us having twins. Clomid can cause fraternal twins, but not identical. After conception the fertilized egg divided and both zygotes ended up implanting. The twins are in separate sacs, but they share a placenta so it is 100% certain they are identical.

Baby A (8oz) was slightly larger than Baby B (7oz). A's heartbeat was 155 and B's was 161. As far as the anatomy scan portion, both babies were perfect. Brain and heart looked good. It was interesting to see their little hearts beating because you could see all 4 chambers pumping away. Legs, arms, and all other organs were perfect and working.

We also found out because they share a placenta, there are a few extra risks so I will be monitored more closely than if they were fraternal. I will have even more ultrasounds than first thought. I will have a growth ultrasound every 4 weeks, then I will have one every opposite 4 weeks checking the amniotic fluid and making sure they both have fluid in their bladder and digestive system. So I will have one an ultrasound every 2 weeks as they will alternate these different types of scans. The one monitoring the fluid in their digestive system is to help monitor for twin to twin transfusion syndrome. This can happen when babies share a placenta (food source). They are linked through blood vessels in the placenta and in 15% of these types of pregnancies one twin will rob nutrients from the other, making one much smaller than the other. If they see this beginning to happen they can treat it so the babies aren't at risk. I will continue to see my regular OB every 4 weeks along with the MFM doctor. They will work together to coordinate my (our) care to ensure we're getting all the monitoring and testing we need done.



Orion and Ronin snuggled together! B's head is on the left and A's is on the right.

Baby A's face

Baby B's face

Profile of Baby A



Baby A's boy parts



Baby B's boy parts

18 weeks!

Today is 18 weeks! Things are going great. I have so much to look forward to this week. We have our anatomy scan in less than 2 days. I'm so ready to know if we're having boys, girls, or one of each! One big event that happened last night was I felt my first kick... or punch! One of those babies in there was feeling pretty feisty. It really surprised me. I know it's the first of many! I'm still waiting on the day that Thayer can feel them too. I know it won't be too much longer. He's just so sweet when he rubs my belly or kisses it. I'm so glad he finally feels comfortable with it all and isn't worried. I wish I could say the same. Each time we get ready to go in for an appointment I get worried/anxious that something will be wrong with one of the babies. I hold my breath until we know they're both alive and squirming in here. I wish I could be like some people and have a blissfully naive pregnancy. I wish I could have felt comfortable announcing at 6 weeks or start making purchases before 14 weeks. I wish I didn't have to worry about the "what ifs."

I still can't believe we've made it this far. I'm not taking a single moment of this for granted. Does my back hurt? Yes. Do my hips kill me some days? Yep. Are my boobs gigantic and throb? You bet ya. Do I complain? NO! I'm thankful to be pregnant. I'm THANKFUL to feel these things because I know what it's like to have to wait month after month, year after year, to finally have my dream(s) growing in my belly.

18 weeks and getting rounder!

Decisions!

I had another doctor appointment on Feb. 27th. It went great. We went in and my OB came in with a nurse practitioner. He told me since the babies are so close together he would rather look at them via the in-office sonogram instead of trying to find and hear them both on through the doppler. He also asked me if I would mine the NP practicing her sonogram skills on me. OF COURSE I WOULDN'T! lol I'll take any and all opportunities to see our babies as much as possible. We got to watch them for about 5 minutes. They checked their heartbeats, but didn't take a reading on them. I just can't help but smile ear to ear when I see them moving around in there and know that they're growing and healthy!

My OB also wanted me to have my first visit with the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor (aka, high risk) next week so I will see her on March 6th. This is simple a precaution because I'm having twins. There isn't anything wrong with me or the babies at this point. I do have a higher risk of pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, pre-term labor, etc. That is the reason why I have to see the MFM doctor. I do believe that I have started having some problems with my bloodsugar dropping low. This scares me some. I know the symptoms of low bloodsugar and that is definitely what I'm experiencing. I will definitely be talking to the doctor about this because I'm not supposed to have my glucose test until 26 weeks.

The most exciting thing about seeing the MFM is we also get to have our anatomy scan. This means we'll find out the sexes of the babies! We will find out on March 6th!! I'm so ready, and it's just in time for 2 consignment sales so maybe I can get some good bargains!!

My next appointment with my regular OB is March 29th. I'm not sure how often I will be seeing the MFM. I do know after 20ish weeks I will have an ultrasound every 3 weeks to check the growth of the babies.

We have officially decided on names for the babies. We have a set of names ready for each possible gender scenario (boy/girl, girl/girl, and boy/boy). I love them and so does Thayer.. and we don't really care what anyone else thinks. These are our babies and we'll name them what we want. All of the first names are pretty unique and the middle names are common. I think that makes for a nice combination.

We also have a date set for the baby shower. It will be on May 4th. It's pretty early, but that's good because I could be put on bedrest pretty early in my 3rd trimester. Also, it is out of state in Kansas and it's a long drive when you're super pregnant (4 1/2 hours). I'm really looking forward to it!

I have also found a photographer to do our maternity and newborn pictures. We've decided to have our maternity pictures taken at the park where we got married. I think that is a great idea and it is a beautiful park!

17 week bumpdate!

Today marks 17 weeks! Another week down... about 21 to go if I make it to term with the dynamic duo! Term for twins is 38 weeks. The babies are each about the size of an onion. Their cartilage is now turning to bone and they have begun putting on some fat.

I'm feeling them move more and more. Yesterday I had a lopsided belly. They both must have been hanging out on the right side as it was pushed out about an inch further than my left side for a while. They really, really like food. After I eat, they get pretty active. I'm so excited for the day that Thayer can feel them move around too.

I'm still down almost 2lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight even though all I do all days is eat... and eat... and eat. I'm trying my very, very hardest to give the babies all that they need.

Thayer is finally bonding with the babies. For the longest time he was scared to because of the baby we lost. He didn't want to get attached then have something happen to this pregnancy as well. He told me the other day that he's no longer scared that we'll lose them. I would be lying if I didn't have worries at times that the next time we have an ultrasound they'll only find one heartbeat. I thought hitting the 2nd trimester would end my fears, but unfortunately that hasn't been the case.

I'm sure I'll have a lot more to write after we have our appointment on Wednesday. I'm thinking about taking a recording of their heartbeats. It will be the first time we've actually heard them. The other times we saw them on the ultrasound, but couldn't hear them.

I'm starting to look and feel huge. I know that's just going to continue to get worse. At least I look pregnant now, I just look far more pregnant than I am... lol.

Now for a progression of pictures... pre-pregnancy, 13 weeks, and today... 17 weeks... Oh... and all this change with still no weight gain.



Pre-pregnancy

13 weeks...



17 weeks (Current)

17 weeks... a view from the top. Belly officially bigger than boobs.

16 week -- 4 month Bumpdate!

Well I'm well into my 2nd trimester now! I woke up Sunday morning crying because all I could think of was how lucky I am and how I never thought the day would come that I would be a mother to a child on earth. I felt silly, but I can't even begin to explain how overwhelmed with emotions I was as I laid there in bed next to my husband with my growing belly.

So... an update on the babies and me. The babies are forming the bones in their ears... lol. Guess I better watch what I'm saying and yelling :-P  They are also developing tastes buds and getting hair including eyelashes and eyebrows. It makes me wonder what color of hair they will have. Red runs in both Thayer's and my family. His mom and dad have auburn hair and his sister is strawberry blonde. I have tons of natural red highlights. Wouldn't two little red-headed twins be cute? (.... oh.... but imagine the tempers attitudes!!) The last few days I've really been able to feel them moving, especially after I eat and whenever I have anything with any type of sugar. Sugar = baby crack. It seems to cause a disco in my belly. It's weird feeling one move on one side then the other move on the other. Sometimes it's still sinking in that we're having two babies. Sometimes I even forget for a second or two. It's exciting and scary all at once. So many people have told me how lucky I am to be having twins, but inside I'm petrified that I'm not going to be able to take care of them while pregnant and how we will provide everything for them after they arrive. Thayer is going to have such a huge learning curve. I hope that I can semi-prepare him for everything that is going to happen.

Our next doctor appointment is February 27th, I will be just over 17 weeks along. We'll get to hear both babies heartbeats through the doppler and they will do my next stage of blood work. Also at that time they will schedule my anatomy scan to make sure they are growing correctly and to see what sex they are. I'm STILL holding out hope that there is a little girl in there along with a boy. That would be ideal, but I'll be happy so long as they are both healthy. I'm going to try to have the anatomy scan over Spring Break so I don't have to take time off of work. So that will be the around the 2nd week in March.

My belly has really started getting large in the last 1-2 weeks. I know that it's only going to get much, much bigger. The babies are supposed to double in size over the next 4 weeks. I've been eating a lot more the last 3-4 days. It seems like the only thing I do is eat, sleep, and pee. I'm finally almost back up to my pre-pregnancy weight. That's a good thing. I know I will certainly have a lot of trouble gaining the proper amount of weight throughout this pregnancy.

This weekend we went home to Kansas to visit family and friends. Mom and I went baby shopping all day on Saturday. We got lots of deals such as a bag full of neutral clothes for 75% off! I also got a penguin bath towel because I have a penguin obsession. I went out to lunch with some of my best friends from high school. It's always good to catch up with them. It's amazing how even after 10 years we can always manage to pick up right where we left off no matter what or where we've been. It's amazing and they're amazing :) I'm lucky to have such great, supportive people in my life!

Bump Picture!

15 week bumpdate!

Today marks 15 weeks! Not a whole lot new to report. Energy is still good, especially in the mornings. It definitely starts tapering off in the afternoon. I know they're definitely growing in there because I'm just getting bigger and bigger. Even week to week there is a noticeable difference. I had NO morning sickness this week (please don't be jinxing myself!!). I've also been feeling more and more flutters. Tonight after dinner I felt it a few times. I can't wait until Thayer can feel it too. I'm still down 4 pounds from the day I found out I was pregnant. I haven't gained any weight at all. It worries me, but I know they are growing and they're healthy and strong and that is the most important thing.

This weekend I was stretched out on the couch checking out my belly and looking at it, the left side was raised up about an inch higher than the right. I had Thayer come and check it out. Then I started wiggling and pushing on it and he freaked. He's scared that I'm going to hurt them when I do this (cause brain damage or something). I tried to explain to him they are in a big old bag of protective "water" and the only thing that would hurt them would be be a significant trauma like getting punched in the stomach or being in a car accident with the seat belt. I don't think it worked very well or eased his mind much. It's kinda cute/endearing... and a little annoying. I mean it is, after all, my body! lol

I spilled the beans at work last week. The principal was happy for me as was the teacher I'm working with. That made me feel better. It seemed legitimate as well, not like they were faking it. I haven't clued them in on the twin thing yet, that's coming on Wednesday. I thought I would ease them into the idea. *sigh* I feel kinda yucky about hiding things, but I wasn't sure what else to do.

I do have an interview for 2 different teaching jobs on Wednesday. I hope they go well. I will feel really bad for having to leave the job I just took, but a teaching job pays so much more and it's what I really want to do with my life. I'm just too good of a person at times I think. I'm at the point, though, where I have to start looking out for number one and what will be best for my life and my future (and that of my family). That is what is most important.

I'm finally starting to think that I actually look pregnant and not just fat or like I have a beer belly. I hope that other people can tell as well. I've never been so self-conscious in my life! Even when I weight 250+ pounds I wasn't this worried about how I looked.

My next doctor's appointment is Feb. 27th. I'll be just over 17 weeks then. I'm excited, but kind of bummed that we won't get to see the babies at this appointment. We'll get to hear their heartbeats through the doppler and they'll schedule me for my next round of tests as well as my anatomy scan at 20 weeks! We will know what we are having in less than 5 weeks! How did we ever make it to this point?!? I'm so lucky to be growing two healthy babies after struggling for so long. My heart is overflowing. Though I do certainly feel overwhelmed at times at the prospect of caring for two infants, I know we will do well. It won't always be easy... and it certainly won't be boring!

14 week bumpdate!

Oh glorious 2nd trimester... how I love thee! :) I'm finally starting to get some energy back. I actually cleaned the house this last weekend. I don't feel completely exhausted all the time. It's a welcome relief! Also, the nausea is all but gone. I think I got really lucky in that regard, especially with having two babies growing in there and pumping hormones into my system. I only had 3-4 weeks of bad morning sickness. It could have been much, much worse. Hopefully I'm not jinxing myself either. My most exciting development in the last week is feeling one (or both) of them move. I know in my heart that's what it was. It seriously felt like a fish in a fish bag like when you bring them home from the pet shop. I don't know any other way to describe it. It is also 6 weeks or less until we know for certain whether there's 2 hot dogs, 2 buns, or a hot dog and a bun cooking in there. (Eloquent aren't I?... lol).

Our little babies are now the size of little lemons. Each baby is about 3.4 inches and 1.5 ounces, they have almost doubled in weight since last week. Pretty impressive little bugs they are! They have also started growing hair! I've been having more and more body aches. Round ligament pains have started. I also get hip pain now and again. I know that's probably my hips preparing for the babies to arrive. Other than that, things are going splendidly. I have no complaints.

Oh oh!! The other day my mom bought us 2 car seats via a sale at Babies R Us! They arrived on our doorstep tonight! That made this whole "twin" thing seem a lot more real. TWO CAR SEATS! Holy Moly! I love them! The seat themselves are super light when not attached to the base which is great since I'm going to have to be lugging around 2 of them. They are gray, red, and black. (Red is my favorite color.) They are also very gender neutral. Thanks mom! It was fun giving Thayer a brief carseat lesson too. He's never really been around infants so this going to be very interesting. I don't think he'll be taking them anywhere by himself... lol probably EVER, so I'll be able to help him out and teach him about everything.

 


I also filed our taxes today. We're getting a really nice return, which will definitely help out with buying baby stuff times 2. Next year we'll have 2 deductions... lol. >.<

Last but not least... here is the latest bump photo. It's grown even the last week. I still feel like I just look fat, but hopefully soon I'll look pregnant. lol in another 14 weeks I'll look like I'm about to pop.

This is what 14 weeks worth of twins looks like!

I Don't Think That Was Gas...

So I'm pretty sure I felt one (or both) of the babies move yesterday. I wasn't gassy at all. To me it felt like when you're swimming in a lake and a fish grazes your leg underwater... but it was in my tummy about 4-5 inches below my belly button. It felt like a little slither sensation in there. I felt it a couple of times throughout the day. I felt it once or twice today as well and I haven't had any gas.

I can't wait until the day that Thayer can feel them moving too. I hope they karate chop him! lol... wait... that would mean they are chopping my insides too!

The top of my uterus is now just slightly below my belly button. I'm really self-conscious. I think I just look fat and not pregnant. I have a feeling I'm going to struggle a lot with the "feeling fat" thing. I just was finally getting used to being "skinny." We went out today to grab a bite to eat (I was really craving a reuben) and I just couldn't figure out anything that made me look like I wasn't huge. I hope I look pregnant to other people instead of just extra chubby.

So, I'm going to tell my boss on Monday that I'm pregnant. I decided I'm going to tell a little white lie about it. I just don't want it to seem like I was hiding something from them, though I was. I don't know if I would have gotten hired at all if they knew, for one. Also, I wasn't comfortable sharing the news with anyone other than family/friends until I was in the "safe zone." I really have no idea what their reaction will be. All I can do is hope for the best. I'm going to tell the principal first and go from there. I'm super nervous, but I know I can't put it off any longer because my tummy is only getting bigger and bigger every day.

13 weeks -- Welcome to 2nd Trimester!!

Today is my birthday :) and today was the best, most amazing birthday I have ever had in my life. Today marked the beginning of my 2nd trimester with these little bugs! It's been such a long journey getting to this day and it couldn't have come on a better day! 3 1/2 years and one angel in heaven. Finally we will be able to hold two little miracles on Earth. (Here I go getting hormonal and tearing up as I'm typing this.) This morning before our ultrasound and prenatal appointment I was thinking about the road we've been on and now it's finally over. All the timed sex, temperature taking, waiting, hoping, peeing on things... it's over! Our miracles have made it to their 2nd trimester and are growing wonderfully! I feel so grateful, happy, and blessed.

We had our ultrasound this morning at 9am. It was nothing but great news. Both babies are measuring 13 weeks 1 day. They are measuring one day ahead of schedule. The MOST important new, however, was that they saw a membrane between the twins. This SIGNIFICANTLY reduces the risk with twins. If the membrane doesn't exist the chances of having a cord incident is very high. I'm so happy we were able to see that there is something separating them!! That was a huge relief to both of us. They were able to see both of the babies stomachs. This means they are both swallowing and that their digestive system is working. That was also a relief. They also were able to see their Nuchal Translucency scan (we chose not to do the blood work so they measured on the ultrasound) showed no build up of fluid which is a great thing. This means there is little risk of Downs Syndrome and other birth defects!

Baby A - This little bug had a heart rate of 153bpm. I have nicknamed this baby "The Attitude" because it kept wanting to cross its arms and heart its little heartbeat from the tech.

Baby B - This little one had a heart rate of 157bpm. This baby is nicknamed "Squirmy Wormy" because it was all over the place, kicking, waving, wiggling, having a party in my uterus.

Gender: We also have an "off the record" gender prediction. The ultrasound tech said if he had to lean one way or another he thinks they are both boys... Two boys.... what am I ever going to do!? lol We won't know for certain until we have our anatomy scan at about 20 weeks. This will be sometime in March (6ish weeks). I'm still crossing my fingers that there is a little girl in there!!

I've actually gained a few pounds. I'm still 3 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight, but I've gained 6.5lbs of the 10lbs I lost back. Nausea kind of comes and goes. I went a week and a half with no nausea, then bad nausea again for 4 days. Now it's pretty intermittent. Other than that, I'm still having "growing pains" and some lower back pain. My uterus is approximately the same size as 18 week singleton pregnancy.

I think I'm going to have to tell my new job very soon. I'm kind of scared. I don't want them to think I was hiding it from them, but I didn't feel it was theirs or anyone's business until I knew both of these babies were in the "safe zone." I just hope they don't let me go or find a reason to let me go because I know they can't fire me just because I'm pregnant.

Me at 13 weeks... sexy bump right?

2 heads are better than one!! :)

Baby A :)

Baby B :)

Looking to the Future

I'm excited to finally be able to plan for the future with these babies. It's such a relief to be 12 and a half weeks pregnant.

I've started my registry on Babies R US and Target.

I have also started researching when it would be best to have our maternity pictures done. I know for sure I want them done before I'm as big as a whale. From what I've seen with twins its best to do them between 28 and 32 weeks. I'm just worried that this will be too late for me, because the photographer I want to use is in Kansas, and I could be put on bedrest at any time after my 2nd trimester.

I've also started to think about our crib bedding. I want to get the mesh, breathable crib bumpers, so it would be a waste of money to purchase a full crib bedding set, especially 2 of them. Before I found out I was having twins, I was going to make my own. Then I was scared to do that when I found out about the 2 babies. I think I will just make them each their own quilt and buy the bumpers and crib skirt already made. The only problem with this is, I've only used a sewing machine 3 times in my life. It will definitely be an adventure. I just hope I can get them both done before the kids get here.