Rounding Out the Last of the 2ww

As of today I believe I am 11dpo. My temp is still high (98.6) as compared to preovulation (97.9). These are good signs. My boobs (or nips to be more exact) are still sore. More so the last couple of days than before. Also, on 8dpo I woke up in the middle of the night and dry-heaved for about 2 hours. Because of my surgery, I can't really throw up unless I ate/drank sometime immediately before because my pouch empties out so quickly. Since then I have been feeling sick to my stomach off and on. Just a kind of blah, slightly nauseous feeling everytime I eat or drink something.

The last few days of the 2ww are always the worst for me. I wake up. Stick the thermometer in my mouth and wait for the disappointment of seeing the temperature go down. The last couple of months my temp drop happened on 12dpo and AF came on 13dpo (CD1). I really have been wanting to test, but have been doing my best not too. When I wake up in the morning I immediately rush to the bathroom to pee so I'm not even tempted by my FMU (first morning urine). I know for certain it would be too early to show a positive with anything other than FMU. lol. I know it sounds silly, but it is better than torturing myself. If I got a negative I know I would just think "Oh, it's too early." If I got a positive I really don't know what I would do besides freak out. I know I would be scared to death that I would lose the new baby too.

So there it is...

I'm keeping my fingers cautiously crossed and hoping for the best. That's all I can do right? It's not up to me anymore. Again, I've done my part. I ovulated. I've been taking care of myself. It is out of my hands at this point.