Not So BOGO

Recently there has been a lot of talk in the infertility community about a couple who was angered when the conceived twins via IVF. Click to read the article: Couple blogs they are 'angry'

I had read this before. Before having the procedure they knew the risks of having twins. I, too, knew the risks of us having twins while on Clomid was greater. (Our twins were not caused by fertility drugs, however, because they are identical.) I knew the risks of becoming pregnant with them, but I had NO idea all the risks and complications that come with having a multiple pregnancy.
That being said, I would never wish a multiple pregnancy on anyone, especially one with identicals (mo/di or mo/mo). There are so many more risks and complications. We almost lost our boys. We almost had to deliver them at 23 weeks. You’re at a much higher risks of miscarriage, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, and stillbirth. Mo/di and mo/mo also have the risk of twin to twin transfusion which can cause the death of not one, but both babies and this occurs in 10% of these types of pregnancies. Mo/mo pregnancies are usually hospitalized after 21 weeks and constantly monitored because the risk of cord incidence is so high. The babies share an amniotic sac and one baby can literally grab the cord of the other one and “strangle” it. Two of my friends on a twin support group had their twins early (26 weeks and 31 weeks) and each of them lost one of their babies due to pre-term labor. Even my twins were born at 33 weeks due to complications (IUGR due to marginal cord attachment). One or both could have lifelong struggles because of it.

In some ways I empathize with the couple. There was even a twice that I remember during my pregnancy that I lay in bed, doubled over in pain crying that I said, “But I only wanted one.” Does that make me a horrible person? No. I was scared and in pain. Does it mean I don't love my kids? No. Does it mean I wasn't grateful to be having my babies after years of trying? Not at all. It simply makes me human.

In some ways, it’s a situation I don’t think you can fully comprehend until you’ve been there. Last week I went to a Mom’s of Multiples meeting. We all had the same consensus. We hate hearing people say “I wish I had twins.” It’s not because we don’t love our children, it’s because they really have no idea the difficulties that come with it both in pregnancy and after. Yeah… it seems like the ultimate BOGO… but it really isn’t. It's hard, harder than most people even imagine.