Today I was on a forum for women TTC and someone shared this song. I really touched me. What I wouldn't give for one minute with my angel baby. What I wouldn't give to see her face. What I wouldn't give to just look in her eyes, see her smile, and hold her close. I don't know what I will do when I finally meet her, but I know it will be a wonderful day. I will probably do just as the song says, stare in awe with complete love. I would love just a few minutes where I felt I didn't have to be strong anymore. I would love a few minutes where I could have some release instead of putting on a happy face even when I'm feeling down. I still think of our baby often. I still love him/her. I always will. I still don't know how to answer when people ask me if I have children, but then I feel like the only thing I can really say is "no." Sometimes this hurts and feels like I'm dismissing our beautiful first child. Sometimes I wonder if I'm neglecting him/her by saying that.
Beam Me Up
~Pink~
There's a whole 'nother conversation going on
In a parallel universe.
Where nothing breaks and nothing hurts.
There's a waltz playing frozen in time
Blades of grass on tiny bare feet
I look at you and you're looking at me.
Could you beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think, a minute's enough,
Just beam me up.
Some black birds soaring in the sky,
Barely a breath like our one last sigh
Tell me that was you, saying goodbye,
There are times I feel the shiver and cold,
It only happens when I'm on my own,
That's how you tell me, I'm not alone
Could you beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think, a minute's enough,
Just beam me up.
In my head, I see your baby blues
I hear your voice and I, I break in two and now there's
One of me, with you
So when I need you can I send you a sign
I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights
I'll pick a star and watch you shine
Just beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think, a minute's enough,
Beam me up
Beam me up
Beam me up
Could you beam me up.
In a parallel universe.
Where nothing breaks and nothing hurts.
There's a waltz playing frozen in time
Blades of grass on tiny bare feet
I look at you and you're looking at me.
Could you beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think, a minute's enough,
Just beam me up.
Some black birds soaring in the sky,
Barely a breath like our one last sigh
Tell me that was you, saying goodbye,
There are times I feel the shiver and cold,
It only happens when I'm on my own,
That's how you tell me, I'm not alone
Could you beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think, a minute's enough,
Just beam me up.
In my head, I see your baby blues
I hear your voice and I, I break in two and now there's
One of me, with you
So when I need you can I send you a sign
I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights
I'll pick a star and watch you shine
Just beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think, a minute's enough,
Beam me up
Beam me up
Beam me up
Could you beam me up.
the question "do you have kids?" is always hard to answer. i hate saying no but sometimes saying yes and having to explain is just too hard! the pain gets easier to deal with but it is always there and thats ok! we have every right to think about our babies that died.
ReplyDelete