This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

Learn more about my Infertility Journey here:
3 years and counting

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Monday, February 20, 2012

March on to March

Looking ahead into March, I know there are a few dates I will have a difficult time with. March 10th will be hard because that is the day I found out I was pregnant with Baby Hope. March 29th will also be difficult. That was the day that our baby went to heaven officially. I don't think about our baby as much anymore. I suppose that is normal. There are still things that get to me and bother me and I suppose that is normal as well. 

I'm thinking about going off my birth control after this cycle is complete. I'm currently on CD5. I am just shy of 6 months post-op. I am down 80 pounds. I want to know if my body is working right again. I NEED to know that my body is working right again. I need to know I did this for a reason other than long term health. I NEED to know that I will be able to get pregnant when we start trying again. Tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to put in my Nuvaring and I will for this month. Then I'm going to take a month or two off of it and see what happens. No we will not be trying to get pregnant. Actually, I will have to closely monitor my cycle to ensure that, that does not happen. I'm sure some people won't agree with me and will think I'm stupid for even possibly risking getting pregnant. By now I know my body. I can feel when I ovulate. I will take my temps and use OPKs. It's not hard to make sure we don't have sex on a few certain days of the month. I want to know that I'm ovulating on my own again. I want to make sure my periods will come on their own. I know some of it will be residual from being on BC for the last 6ish months... but I need to know. 

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Goodbye Worldly Goods....

So glad it is the weekend and this week is over. Work was hell. They pissed me off so bad. They wouldn't let me have the day off so I could meet with TMO. You would think that working on a military base at the Child Development Center they would kind of understand these things... but apparently not. I ended up having to call in, in order to get the day off because Thayer couldn't be at the house the whole time. Oh well... fuck them. Yesterday was my last day of work. I really just wanted to walk in the office and tell them to fuck off and inform them of all the reasons that their employees don't usually stick around long. They get sick of being walked on and treated like shit. It is ridiculous. I agree with a friend of mine that said that we were the prostitutes and the management was our pimps... they basically could treat us however they wanted and we got stuck doing everything with absolutely no pat on the backs or anything... unless of course you are one of their "favorites" and kiss their ass all the time. There are a couple of those floating around. Sorry... I don't play that game. If you want respect from me, you sure as hell had better respect me back. I have never been so HAPPY to be unemployed in all my life!!!!

TMO came on the 16th and 17th. All (well most) of our worldly goods are now in a warehouse awaiting travel to Missouri.Our house looks so empty, but it's a good feeling. I'm ready to start our new chapter more than anything else!

Oh... I broke my laptop. Yep... that was fabulous. I sat it on a bag thinking it was safe then I bumped the bag and it slid off in slow motion and the one side of it fell about 6 inches. The LCD screen is now only white. I took it to the shop on Thursday and they said they would look at it that afternoon or Friday. Now I'm still sitting here on Saturday and they haven't even looked at the damn thing. So IRRITATED!! I really need my laptop to be able to do my homework!! If you say you're going to do something then DO IT! I googled what might be wrong with it. It looks like either the connection is lose between the monitor and the video card, the inverter is bad, or the LCD went completely out. I'm thinking it is probably just a loose connection because there was nothing indicating a problem before it dropped all of 6 inches. It would literally take them all of 10 minutes to diagnose the problem... so why can't they just do it. I guess I'll just keep calling back every couple of hours until they get sick of me and get their shit together.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Final Countdown!

So I have had my new car for a little over a week now and I'm in love with it. I haven't found a single thing that I don't like about it. It drives like a dream and gets great gas mileage. I couldn't ask for more.... But that's not really what I logged on to write about tonight. I have big big big news.

Thayer finally got his orders. His official separation date from the Air Force is March 31st. He still needs to go in and talk to a recruiter and see if he really wants to join the Air Force Reserves or not. That is completely up to him. I will support his decision either way because at least I won't have to be the military's bitch anymore. I'm so fed up with them ruling my life and all of my decisions. I didn't think it would be like that. I knew they would have some control... but it is getting ridiculous. Anywho...

We also have our final out day of Minot. Thayer's leave/terminal leave got approved today. TMO is coming on the 17th to pack up all our belongings that we aren't taking in the car with us. Then they are coming back on the 21st to load everything into the truck. We are staying in TLF on the 23rd (luckily we got a pet friendly room!) Thayer goes for his final out appointment on the morning of the 24th. As soon as that is done we will hit the road and head for Sioux Falls, which is about the halfway point between Minot and my parent's house. I guess we will be staying with my parents for a little longer than we had originally anticipated, but it will be okay. I'm just glad I get along so well with my parents.

The only things still up in the air have to do with Thayer's decision to join the Reserves or not. If he does join that means he will have to go to tech school again because his current career field has nothing to do with anything the Reserves have to offer. If he doesn't, then he will start school in May. I hope that I'm able to find a teaching job. If not, then I can at least substitute teach. I only have to get my finger prints done in order to be fully certified.

There is a long list of things about Minot I will not miss and a fairly short list of things I will miss.

I will NOT miss not having a decent mall. I will NOT miss not being able to eat good Chinese or Mexican food. I will NOT miss all the snow (even though this year winter has been kind). I will NOT miss -30 windchills... This list could go on and on.

What I will miss... I will miss my military family. I have met some wonderful people up here and I will truly and sincerely miss each and every one of them. They know who they are (or at least they better!) It really is true that your friends become your family when you're in the military. That's who you spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the 4th of July with. I love my military family... I got to pick each and every special person that is a member of that family. Maybe one day we will meet again... ya know... in Vegas on our 30th birthdays.

It seems so surreal that we are leaving Minot, the military (potentially), and the first years of our marriage behind. It is time to start a new chapter.

I hope the new chapter goes something like this....
- I get a teaching job and finish my Master's degree.
- Thayer joins the Reserves and starts school (and graduates in about 4ish years)
- We are able to get pregnant when we start trying again... hopefully this fall.

Those are my hopes/dreams for the future... now here is to making them come true!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Full Speed Ahead!

On the 28th I went out with a few of my friends to celebrate my birthday. We went out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. (There isn't a whole lot of quality choices for dinner up here in Minot, in my opinion). We got to eat and talk. Then some of us went back to my house and just hung out for a little bit. It was a pretty good night. Some of my friends got me some pretty... surprising presents... like candy nipple tassels that I had to open in the middle of the crowded restaurant (Thanks Martha...). It was nice to celebrate my birthday with a group of people I really like and care about. I am also happy to report that as of my 27th birthday I had lost 72 pounds! Here's a picture of me from that night. I can't believe how different I look from a few months ago even! I'm loving it!

72lbs down on my 27th birthday!
So now it is time for me to post about my trip to Minneapolis.

After driving for a little over 8 hours we made it to the Reserve base by the airport in Minneapolis. We got checked in and breathed for a minute. The only thing disappointing about the Reserve base is that they had no WiFi internet for me to work on my homework. Also, in that area I had little to no 3G phone coverage. After just a few minutes we hopped right back in the car and went out to dinner. Hell's Kitchen did not disappoint! Thayer and I both at bison burgers that were huge (and reasonably priced). We also ordered a slice of tres leche cake to take home for my birthday. Oh yeah... I turned 27 on the 29th of January! It was scrumptious! After eating we went back to the hotel and just hung out. It had been a long day of driving for both of us and we just wanted to relax. I set the alarm for Monday morning so we could get up and go get my car right away!

We got up Monday morning and drove to the car dealership. It took a little while, but I was so excited to drive my car off the lot. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my car. It has bluetooth so I can connect my phone up and make calls using a button on my steering wheel. I have all these wonderful new gadgets that I get to learn how to use. I can't believe I have such a nice car. I worked so long and hard to earn the money for it. I soooo deserved this as my birthday present!

Me with my new car at the dealership!
After purchasing my new car we drove over to the Mall of America. To be honest... it wasn't nearly as big as I thought it would be. Sure, it is 4 stories tall, but it didn't take us long to walk the perimeter of the building. We didn't really do much shopping other than going to Build-A-Bear. The first thing we did at the Mall was go to the aquarium. It was pretty nice. Kind of expensive for the size that it was... well at least I thought so. It had a few cool exhibits and it was fun just doing something different.
And Thayer says I have a big mouth! 
Going for a navy guy next time... lol

I found Nemo... and his girlfriend...
After the aquarium we went to Build-A-Bear... where we made a bear in memory of our baby to give to our future baby. Thayer and I both got to hug and kiss a heart to put inside the bear. We named our bear "Hope" on it's birth certificate. Inside we put a box that plays the Brahm's Lullaby. I know one day we will have a baby to give that cute little bear to. I know some people will probably criticize me for doing this... but whatever.

The trip home was long. We both had to drive the full 8+ hours ourselves. I, of course, had the luxury of driving my new car! I took a picture of the North Dakota sunset as we were driving along. It's one of just a few I have left in this place.