Baby... It's Cold Outside!

So I think winter has finally hit Minot. The wind is blowing like crazy... it is in the single digits... it feels like it's in the negative digits... BRRR! lol It snowed some yesterday... maybe a half inch. Come on Minot lol That's not that impressive, why don't you give these noobies a taste of a real Minot winter! Bring on the BLIZZARDS! :-P

So.. the funny thing about winter in Minot is that you're cooped up inside a lot. Guess what that leads to?! DRAMA! I think some military wives seriously get off on starting shit with other people. It's one thing if it is actually true, but if you're making shit up because your crazy or something, you need to get off Facebook and get a life! So there is at least one completely false rumor going around me right now. Military life is worse than high school sometimes and it only seems to be in the base. I didn't have to deal with any of this crap when I lived off post... but then again I didn't know that many people either.

In other news... I have a job! It's not at the BX though. I got a call the morning I was supposed to start at the BX from NAF and they wanted to hire me to work at the CDC. I took that job because it pays $3 more an hour and it is something I would enjoy more than working at the BX. (No offense BX employees). I'm still going through background checks and things. Hopefully I will have all of that sorted out by next week.

I go in next week to have my HSG done. I'm so mad at myself though, because I forgot to go in on Sunday and have my bloodwork ran! I guess it will just have to wait until next month. I also go in on the 23rd to see the RE. I hope that everything goes well. I'm ready for some good news. I should be able to go on Clomid after the HSG results come back and I get my period again. Maybe I'll have an awesome Christmas or Birthday present this year! Here's to hoping!

What else... the dogs are doing well. Kaia loves the cold and Myst hates it. Kaia loves the snow and Myst just looks at me like "you seriously want me to put my paws on the cold wet crap." She just looks so annoyed with me, like I can do something about it. Kaia's birthday is next week. She will be one year old! She has now reached her adult height but she can bulk up and put on more weight up until she's about 18 months old. Right now she's sitting at 44lbs, which is not nearly as big as we thought she would be. Her mommma and daddy were both about 70lbs.

Life in Fast Forward!

So things are starting to go in fast forward... Lots of things going on!

So tomorrow I get to go to the dentist for a cleaning... lol that's not too eventful.

Tomorrow I also have a job interview at the BX. The CDC also called me Saturday night and asked me if I was still interested in a position. I would really rather work at CDC than the BX, not only because the pay is better, but also because I have more experience in it.

I also got an official appointment with the RE. I was on the appointment waiting list, but they called me Wednesday morning and I am going on the 23rd of November. I also started Provera yesterday so I can have my period. When I do get it, on day 3 I will have bloodwork done and then my HSG on day 10. The RE has 15 pages of paperwork for me to fill out for my first visit! lol They ask some pretty private questions and it was a bit embarrassing to fill out. I guess that's one things that goes along with infertility treatments, you lose a lot of your modesty because you have all kinds of people looking up your girl parts. I'm just glad things are getting moving. Because of my scheduled tests I probably won't start Clomid until December... lol just in time for Christmas. I'm going to have a rough holiday as it is being away from my family and then throw some medication that messes with your hormones and makes most women 10 times more moody than they are when they PMS... well that's just a recipe for disaster! lol I'm just hoping that I might be prego for my birthday! Wouldn't that be great! Oh well, we'll have to see if the Clomid works. If it doesn't then I work with the RE and get more treatment!

Let's see, not a lot going on with the dogs. Kaia was really dumb the other day and pooped in her cage, which wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't of eaten it. Not only did she eat it, but it made her tummy really upset and she puked it up all over my house and her cage. It was so awful cleaning up puked up poop! I have a tough stomach, but I gagged a couple times. It was awful. Myst is doing really well. She seems to be pretty happy and moving pretty good all these months after her surgery. She still favors that leg sometimes, but you can tell that she's living in a lot less pain and that's what really mattered to me. I'd rather have her limp a little bit and not be in pain than be in constant pain.

Relaxing... Finally.

So the last week I have been slammed with homework. I thought about half assing it... but then again I don't want to risk losing my 4.0. I'm pretty friggin' proud that I have a 4.0 in Graduate School!

Today I am taking a break from the book and just going to relax with my girls. I love my doggies so much. I can't believe how much unconditional love Myst shows me! She is just the most amazing little dog who loves her momma so much. I love it when she cuddles with me in bed and she's so cute when she gets excited. When she gets excited the tail literally wags the dog. Martha calls her "wiggles." I also can't believe that Kaia is almost a year old (Nov. 24th). I bought the last bag of puppy food yesterday. After that bag is gone she'll be on adult food. My little baby is growing up! I looked at the pictures I took of her when I first picked her up and I can't believe how much she has grown in the last year.

Monday I have to call Dr. Billings office on Monday and get my prescription for Provera. AF hasn't showed up yet and he said he didn't want me to wait any longer until the first of the month. I'm ready get get things rolling! After I get on the Provera I'm one step closer to having the HSG ran. Thayer said he would try to take a half a day off to take me to the appointment because you're not supposed to drive afterwards. I know I'm definitely going to take some pain meds before I have it ran. I've heard people tell me that it's really painful and I've had others tell me that it wasn't any worse than having a pap. lol I'm just kinda weirded out because I'm going to have God knows how many people looking up my girl parts. It's really awkward. To be honest, it makes me more uncomfortable to have a male doctor looking up there than a female. lol so anyways...

I should be cleaning, but I'm boycotting it. I'll do some of that this weekend and maybe I'll make Thayer help me. We'll see if that actually will happen.

OH! I got one of my infertility books in the mail yesterday and started reading it! It's super funny and it makes me feel better. It's called Conception Chronicles. Any woman going through infertility should give it a try. It makes me laugh and helps me realize how many women are in the same boat as me. It also had some uplifting statistics. 90% of women who experience infertility go on to have babies. I guess there is always a chance I'm in that 10% that doesn't... but I'm choosing to focus on the positive.

In a way... I feel lucky

I've just been doing some thinking. I'm definitely trying to stay on the sunny side of life. I was just thinking the other day about all the women that are struggling with infertility, but aren't lucky enough to have insurance that covers it like I do. I can't even image having to pay for this stuff out of pocket. So I'm lucky, in a way, that we have the insurance we do that covers everything but IVF. I'm excited about all the upcoming things and finally getting some real answers and moving on with getting some "real" treatments started. I know it's going to be rough because I'll probably have to be on Provera most months and that makes me feel like shit, but the results will definitely be worth it!

So... most of my blogs lately have been about my struggle with infertility and I'm sure most people are sick of hearing about my jacked up ovaries. Sorry, it's just been on my mind a lot.

So... what else has been going on? Not a whole lot. School is still going alright. I need to quit procrastinating so much. I keep saying that but it never seems to happen. Let's see... I've finally made some really good friends up here. People I love hanging out with and have things in common with. They're supportive of me and yeah, it makes me feel really lucky. I'm glad I kept trying to make friends and didn't give up. I was on the verge of giving up for good, and then these wonderful ladies showed up! The dogs are doing well. Kaia will be a year old next month! She's so big compared to when we got her. She's starting to bulk up and not look so skinny, and she is loving the cooler weather we've been having. She just wants to go outside and hang out. Myst is doing good as well. She's still momma's little baby, and I treat her as such. I've also applied for some jobs here on base. The Library told me they couldn't do anything with my application because I can't claim spouse preference. I've also applied to be a secretary at the vet clinic, the CDC, and the BX. I would probably like to have a job at the CDC the most, but at this point I just want my own money and to get out of the house. I only want to work about 20 hours a week so I can keep up with school. Still now news about Thayer deploying, but then again he could get orders one day and ship out a week later because he is volunteering. Guess that's all for now :)

Hunger Strike...

I have to have the weirdest dog ever. Myst is currently on a hunger strike because Kaia got new dog food and she wants it too. Myst has to be on a special dog food because she is prone to getting bladder stones, which, if she does get them, it will require surgery. She doesn't really "like" her food, but she usually eats her 1/2 cup twice a day with no problems. She's eaten maybe a cup since I got Kaia the new food. I know she's not sick, she's just stubborn. (Don't know who she got that from... lol). She'll eat when she gets hungry enough. My dog is such a brat! lol

I should really be going to bed, but I've been having trouble sleeping again. Last night I had a really weird dream too. Not sure what to do about the sleep situation because I definitely don't want to be on anymore medication.

I really need to get cracking on some homework this weekend. I've been procrastinating so bad this semester... 10 time worse than my other semesters. I think that is the biggest draw back to taking online classes.

Sometimes I really worry about my parents. I'm scared that one day I'm going to wake up and one of them is going to be gone. My mom went to the doctor today and found out that her blood pressure medicine wasn't working at all anymore and that was why she has been feeling so crappy like ALL summer. Today her blood pressure was 180/100.. which is AWFUL!! Much higher than that and she could have had a stroke or heart attack. I'm also worried because she smokes and like 7-8 years ago they found pre-cancerous cells on her vocal cords, which was most likely caused by smoking. I want her to quit so bad. I want her to be able to see her grandchildren grow up. I also worry about my dad. He had partial blockages in her arteries a couple years ago and had like a warning attack. It wasn't a heart attack, but he body was trying to get his attention and tell him that something needed to change. I just don't know what to do and I feel so helpless at times because I'm so far away. I'm not there to kick their asses into gear. When I was still living at home I would make them "heart healthy" meals out of the American Heart Society cookbook and things, but that's all gone to the side now that I'm gone. I just want them to be around for many many more years.

I mean I know I'm not perfect and I need to do a better job... but geez. I eat pretty health most of the time, I just have trouble dropping the weight because of the PCOS. I'm sure some people think that I use that as an excuse, but they should do some research before they start to judge. I would LOVE to lose weight and I try hard to, but nothing seems to work. I usually eat about 1500 calories a day and I walk and play with the dogs and things. I also do either a "Shimmy" or "Bollywood" exercise program a couple times a week. You would think with that something would happen, but I've been at a standstill for almost a month now. Before that I had lost about 10lbs. It's just so frustrating when it just stops!

Wishes Happiness Was As Contagious as the Clap

I think that everyone being down and depressed on Facebook and other outlets is seriously effecting my mood. I can't really ignore them. I have to be a friend and try to be understanding, but where do I draw the line? I'm not talking about those that occassionally say "Life sucks, etc." I'm talking about the ones that have to find something to bitch about in every single status update they make. More people need to turn their frowns upside down. There is always something positive in your life if you look at it. Yeah some things may suck, I know that better than most, but it's all how you look at it. If you dwell on the negative then of course you're going to be uphappy. I know I used to be this way. I used to be the Queen of Negativity, but I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I want to be happy for once and look at the positive side of things. Life is to short to be unhappy all the time.

The good things in my life:

1. My loving husband. Yes he has his moments when he's a jerkface, but I know he loves me.

2. My friends, both new and old. I miss my old friends from my hometown and from college, but the ones that really matter are still my friends no matter how far apart we are. And my new friends, I have to admit I have finally met some pretty awesome ladies up here in North Dakota.

3. My awesome parents. I just want to say that my parents rock my socks. My mom is my best friend and I'm so glad that we have such a wonderful relationship.

4. The rest of the family. Most of them are pretty awesome :)

5. My super awesome dog Myst and Thayer's pain in the ass Kaia. Myst has been my rock and baby for over 6 years now, and I don't know how I would have gotten through some things without her.

6. Food to eat. I have food to eat. Enough said. I can be happy for the little things in life.

7. My house. I love my house other than the stupid tile.

8. Good books. I have read so many good books in my life. Some funny, some inspirational. Who couldn't be happy about good books?

There are a lot of other things in my life that make me happy.

bark yell bark yell

Ok.. the barking has now gone on for 2 hours... you're out in the yard half that time. Shut your dogs up. Some people's husbands are trying to sleep. Also, its after 9pm and you're kids don't need to be yelling and screaming like wild banshees. I know dogs bark. My dogs don't. They were trained not to... but these dogs bark all the time and at everything. Anytime they are outside they are barking. If the wind blows, they bark. If a car drives by, they bark. Bark Bark Bark... If this continues I think I'm going to make a phone call or go talk to them. It's getting ridiculous, especially if you're outside and you don't do anything about it. lol That is my vent for the evening...

Small Victories

So Thayer and I have been going around and around since October about him going to the lab and making his "donation" to be tested so we could proceed with fertility treatments. Today I finally got him to agree to do it. lol I had to bribe my husband. I told him he could get a video game (StarCraft II) IF he called next week and scheduled his appointment to go in and get his little soldiers tested. I realized today that I'm pushing 26 and I want to be done with this whole having babies thing done by the time I'm 30-32. I can't believe I had to bribe him, but I guess whatever works. Once he goes in and gets his little swimmers tested I can go and get the rest of my tests run and then start on Clomid and HOPEFULLY get pregnant in the next year. Here's to hoping.

Kaia and I have started going on walks with Martha and her dog, Kenobi. I really enjoy going and I know that taking an hour or more long walk everyday or every other day has to be good for me. I've been eating a lot healthier (for the most part) so hopefully the walks will help me drop a few pounds. I bought a scale yesterday so that I can track the progress that I'm hoping to see. Once I get used to the long walks I think I'll start adding situps or something else to the workout when I get home.