March on to March

Looking ahead into March, I know there are a few dates I will have a difficult time with. March 10th will be hard because that is the day I found out I was pregnant with Baby Hope. March 29th will also be difficult. That was the day that our baby went to heaven officially. I don't think about our baby as much anymore. I suppose that is normal. There are still things that get to me and bother me and I suppose that is normal as well. 

I'm thinking about going off my birth control after this cycle is complete. I'm currently on CD5. I am just shy of 6 months post-op. I am down 80 pounds. I want to know if my body is working right again. I NEED to know that my body is working right again. I need to know I did this for a reason other than long term health. I NEED to know that I will be able to get pregnant when we start trying again. Tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to put in my Nuvaring and I will for this month. Then I'm going to take a month or two off of it and see what happens. No we will not be trying to get pregnant. Actually, I will have to closely monitor my cycle to ensure that, that does not happen. I'm sure some people won't agree with me and will think I'm stupid for even possibly risking getting pregnant. By now I know my body. I can feel when I ovulate. I will take my temps and use OPKs. It's not hard to make sure we don't have sex on a few certain days of the month. I want to know that I'm ovulating on my own again. I want to make sure my periods will come on their own. I know some of it will be residual from being on BC for the last 6ish months... but I need to know.