This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

Learn more about my Infertility Journey here:
3 years and counting

Welcome to the World Orion and Ronin!

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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

13 weeks -- Welcome to 2nd Trimester!!

Today is my birthday :) and today was the best, most amazing birthday I have ever had in my life. Today marked the beginning of my 2nd trimester with these little bugs! It's been such a long journey getting to this day and it couldn't have come on a better day! 3 1/2 years and one angel in heaven. Finally we will be able to hold two little miracles on Earth. (Here I go getting hormonal and tearing up as I'm typing this.) This morning before our ultrasound and prenatal appointment I was thinking about the road we've been on and now it's finally over. All the timed sex, temperature taking, waiting, hoping, peeing on things... it's over! Our miracles have made it to their 2nd trimester and are growing wonderfully! I feel so grateful, happy, and blessed.

We had our ultrasound this morning at 9am. It was nothing but great news. Both babies are measuring 13 weeks 1 day. They are measuring one day ahead of schedule. The MOST important new, however, was that they saw a membrane between the twins. This SIGNIFICANTLY reduces the risk with twins. If the membrane doesn't exist the chances of having a cord incident is very high. I'm so happy we were able to see that there is something separating them!! That was a huge relief to both of us. They were able to see both of the babies stomachs. This means they are both swallowing and that their digestive system is working. That was also a relief. They also were able to see their Nuchal Translucency scan (we chose not to do the blood work so they measured on the ultrasound) showed no build up of fluid which is a great thing. This means there is little risk of Downs Syndrome and other birth defects!

Baby A - This little bug had a heart rate of 153bpm. I have nicknamed this baby "The Attitude" because it kept wanting to cross its arms and heart its little heartbeat from the tech.

Baby B - This little one had a heart rate of 157bpm. This baby is nicknamed "Squirmy Wormy" because it was all over the place, kicking, waving, wiggling, having a party in my uterus.

Gender: We also have an "off the record" gender prediction. The ultrasound tech said if he had to lean one way or another he thinks they are both boys... Two boys.... what am I ever going to do!? lol We won't know for certain until we have our anatomy scan at about 20 weeks. This will be sometime in March (6ish weeks). I'm still crossing my fingers that there is a little girl in there!!

I've actually gained a few pounds. I'm still 3 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight, but I've gained 6.5lbs of the 10lbs I lost back. Nausea kind of comes and goes. I went a week and a half with no nausea, then bad nausea again for 4 days. Now it's pretty intermittent. Other than that, I'm still having "growing pains" and some lower back pain. My uterus is approximately the same size as 18 week singleton pregnancy.

I think I'm going to have to tell my new job very soon. I'm kind of scared. I don't want them to think I was hiding it from them, but I didn't feel it was theirs or anyone's business until I knew both of these babies were in the "safe zone." I just hope they don't let me go or find a reason to let me go because I know they can't fire me just because I'm pregnant.

Me at 13 weeks... sexy bump right?

2 heads are better than one!! :)

Baby A :)

Baby B :)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Looking to the Future

I'm excited to finally be able to plan for the future with these babies. It's such a relief to be 12 and a half weeks pregnant.

I've started my registry on Babies R US and Target.

I have also started researching when it would be best to have our maternity pictures done. I know for sure I want them done before I'm as big as a whale. From what I've seen with twins its best to do them between 28 and 32 weeks. I'm just worried that this will be too late for me, because the photographer I want to use is in Kansas, and I could be put on bedrest at any time after my 2nd trimester.

I've also started to think about our crib bedding. I want to get the mesh, breathable crib bumpers, so it would be a waste of money to purchase a full crib bedding set, especially 2 of them. Before I found out I was having twins, I was going to make my own. Then I was scared to do that when I found out about the 2 babies. I think I will just make them each their own quilt and buy the bumpers and crib skirt already made. The only problem with this is, I've only used a sewing machine 3 times in my life. It will definitely be an adventure. I just hope I can get them both done before the kids get here.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

12 weeks bumpdate!

Bean and Bug are now 12 weeks along! So blessed to have made it this far. Can't wait to see them again on my birthday.. Less than a week now! One week until 2nd TRIMESTER!!! Such a MILESTONE coming up!!!

Just when I thought I was pretty much over my morning sickness, it has returned the last 3 mornings. Hopefully, it will stop altogether soon.

I got a new job today. I'm kind of dreading telling them I'm pregnant here in a few weeks, but I really needed the work and I've been trying since October to find something more than just substitute teaching. I should be okay to work until May, unless something drastic happens. My third trimester will begin in May, but school should be out or just about out by then.

I've also been having some serious "growing pains." My hip joints hurt and so does my lower back. I know it's because things are expanding and shifting down there. The last few days I've also had trouble sleeping, mostly because I just can't get comfortable. Because of this and other things, I'm pretty exhausted by the time I get home from work.

Because of the twins, it's like I'm actually 15-18 weeks pregnant size wise. I'm not sure my bump has really changed much this week. I have found I'm much more comfortable in maternity pants. I still haven't really gained much weight, but I'm trying to eat more. According to my twins book, by 20 weeks I should have gained close to 20lbs. Well... since losing 10lbs, I've still only gained about 3lbs back. It could be that the reason I'm still so tired is also because these little buggers are stealing all of my nutrients. Oh well... better them than me. I want 2 healthy, beautiful babies.

Thayer is also going to do some research into possibly (and that's a BIG maybe) transferring to WSU and closer to home. We know that we could really use the help with the babies. Especially if say, one of them is sick. My mom would be able to watch him/her so we wouldn't have to take off work/school to stay home. It would be really nice, but it really depends on how/if things from Missouri State would transfer to Wichita State. It might not even be worth it if some of his classes don't transfer.

12 week bump-date - Don't mind the hair or wrinkled shirt... I worked all day.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Baby Buys!

So now that I'm almost officially in the "safe zone" I have made a few baby purchases. :)

A recommended book about having multiples!
Carseat canopy, baby sling, and breast feeding cover... only had to pay shipping!
Onesie just for Daddy Thayer :)

It's exciting to know that I have I'm just about over the worry hump. Now all these babies have to do is grow. I was reading in the book though, and by 20 weeks it says I should have gained at least 20lbs. EEK! I lost 10lbs and so far have only gained 2lbs back. I should put on about 40lbs my whole pregnancy because of the twins. I have NO idea how I'm going to do that. It already seems like I'm eating a ton, though compared to most pregnant women I'm sure I'm probably not. My guess is that once I start seeing the high-risk doctor in maternal medicine, I will be sent to see a nutritionist as well. I think that would really help me in knowing what I should be eating, what I shouldn't be eating, and what I really should worry about eating. I'm just scared I'm going to starve my babies on accident. I'm trying! I really, really am!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

9 days!

So it is 9 days until my birthday. 9 days until I see my babies again. 9 days until I see their little heart beating. 9 days until I get to hold my husband's hand while we smile at their little wiggling bodies growing in my tummy. 9 days... :)

I can NOT wait for these 9 days to pass!

I hope that we are able to see the membrane between them. Because of the Clomid, there is little chance that they are identical. I'm excited to see them again. They'll look like little people now instead of little blobs. We'll be able to see their little arms and legs! I'm ready to know that they're both still in there growing and doing well. I'm ready for that reassurance. Then I know I'll just be counting down the days until our anatomy scan at 20ish weeks.

I can not honestly believe I am almost through my first trimester. I am almost 1/3 of the way done with being pregnant. It's so surreal after the journey we've had to get pregnant. I'm trying to love every minute of it and not take any of it for granted. I'm thankful for all the symptoms I've had... even all day sickness. I know the other side of the coin. I know what it's like to long to be a mother. This year I'll actually be able to celebrate Mother's Day instead of spending the day in sorrow. :)

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

11 weeks and growing!

Today marks 11 weeks. It's getting hard to hide this growing bump behind baggy clothes. The last couple of days I broke out some maternity pants because all my normal pants are just plain uncomfortable! Because I'm carrying twins my uterus is measuring anywhere between 14 and 17 weeks pregnant (3-6 weeks more than a singleton pregnancy). That would definitely explain this bumpity bump I have going on. Seeing my tummy growing is kind of reassuring that they're both still in there and they're both still okay. That's still my biggest concern. I'm still so frightened that this is going to be taken away from me. I wish I could live in blissful ignorance like so many pregnant women and never worry that my children may die inside me, but I know better than that. I've experienced that heartbreak.

11 weeks!!

I do know, however, I'm going to go through at least 2 sizes of maternity clothes because the Large pants I have... the elastic is NOT going to stretch enough to accommodate a twin size belly.

Oh... My dad so lovingly said the other day that "Mary's going to look like a beach ball with arms and legs." lol Thanks dad! It's probably true though. I'm so short (5'1") that I'm going to be all belly, but not one of those cute basketball bellies. I'll be gigantic.

Most of my symptoms are pretty much gone. I do have some nausea every now and again. My breasts are still sore and growing like crazy. (Let me tell you how excited Thayer is about that... lol). I'm still tired a lot. I've been sick, but I think I might be slowly getting over that. Thank God!

As far as the babies go... at the end of this week they will no longer be considered embryos, they will be fetuses. Most of their organs are fully formed and starting to function. Each baby is about 1.6 inches long and weighs about .25 ounces. They are each about the size of a lime!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Names and Worry Wart

So Thayer and I have chosen some names for the babies. We're keeping them secret for now but if we have two boys, their initials will be ORO and RLO. If we have a girl and a boy, the girl's initials will be AMO and the boys will be ORO. Now we're just stuck on a second girl name if we have 2 girls. The first girls initials will be KMO. We're struggling with another name that would mesh well with the K name. I figure we have plenty of time to figure it all out. We're over half way until we find out the sex of them.

The closer it gets to my birthday the more apprehensive I am. I'm so worried that we are going to go the the appointment on the 29th and find out bad news like one or both of the babies have no heartbeat. I'm not sure how well I would deal with getting horrible news like that on my birthday. Thayer has repeated told me not to worry about it, that it wasn't going to happen. I'm just so scared that this is going to be taken away from me again. I'm so grateful to be pregnant with one, let alone two, babies. I'm trying my best not to think about it or worry about it too much, but like I've said before, I think it is going to be a fear I have throughout my entire pregnancy. Even after I make it through my first trimester, there will still be concerns such as pre-term labor, complications like high blood pressure, and even still birth. I'm not sure I'll really breathe easy until I'm holding my two little rainbow angel babies in my arms.

On the other hand, I am excited to see my little "blobs" again. This time they'll actually look like little people as I'll be 13 weeks along. I'm excited to see and hear their little heartbeats and see them wiggle all around in the ultrasound. They will have grown so much in just a short time. It will be truly amazing to see the little miracles I have growing in my tummy.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

10 weeks...

Today marks 10 weeks, at least by how the babies were last measuring. I'm not sure if they'll adjust my due date at my next appointment or not.

I've been sick since Saturday thanks to my husband. My chest is really congested, especially at night. It's not fun at all. I'm already up every few hours to pee and now I'm up coughing too.

It would seem that my morning sickness is basically gone. I'm hoping that it's a good sign and not a sign that something is wrong. That is still always in the back of my mind. I'm still always secretly wondering when this is going to be taken away from me. I know all too well that it isn't a "sure" thing. I might feel this way my whole pregnancy, who knows?

Thayer has been taking pretty good care of me. He runs and fetches things when I don't feel like getting up off the couch. He even had a dream last night about the babies. He had a dream we went on a shopping spree for them and bought all kinds of baby things. I thought that was really interesting. I've had a few weird dreams, but none really about the babies. I think Thayer has a better grasp that we're having twins than I do. I still usually refer to them as "baby" and then he corrects me and says "babies."

Symptoms: constipation (still really, really bad), sore nipples, exhaustion

Baby Bump??
Thayer has decided my belly is poking out more. I came home from work yesterday and he poked me (gently) and said, "They're showing." lol thanks hunny... how nice. I just feel like a fat balloon. Here's a comparison pic. One from 8 1/2 weeks pregnant and one from today... what do y'all think?

Left side 8 1/2 weeks and Right side was today, 10 weeks.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Plugging Away

The last couple of days I've been beyond exhausted. I got a long term sub job in a high needs, high school special education class. The kids are great... I'm just lacking energy, especially with having to get up at 5:30am. Making 2 babies is serious business.

My latest craving has been Spicy Chicken Sandwiches from Wendy's and french fries with buffalo sauce. I still haven't gained any weight, even though some of my pants have already had to be retired.

According to how the babies are measuring instead of my LMP I'm currently 9w3d. I'm sure things are going well. The risk of MC at this point is pretty low since they both have well established heartbeats.

We're still concerned about the membrane, but trying not to dwell on it too much. At this point there is nothing we can do about it. It will either be there and be seen or it won't be there and I'll have a very high risk pregnancy. From what I've been reading, however, a lot of women had an ultrasound at 8-9 weeks where they weren't able to see the membrane but were able to see it between 12 and 14 weeks. My next appointment is at 13 weeks, so there is definitely still hope. Also, at my first ultrasound at the ER when we found out that there were 2 babies, they pointed out the 2 different yolk sacs. While this isn't a 100% indicator, it is a pretty decent indicator that they fraternal and will have a membrane separating them. We just have to hope and pray for the best at this point. If no membrane exists they will be mo/mo twins, meaning they share an amniotic sac and a placenta. The reason the membrane is so crucial, if there isn't one the twins umbilical cords could get tangled or wrapped around each other, cord compression could happen, cutting of nutrients/oxygen to one or both of them as they grow, or a syndrome called twin to twin transfusion syndrome could happen where one twin steals the blood supply from the other. Usually in the case of mo/mo twins, mothers are admitted full time to the hospital around 24-26 weeks for 24/7 monitoring to ensure that none of these are happening. This, of course, is worse case scenario. Because our twins were conceived with Clomid and more than likely from 2 separate eggs, there is also a lower likelihood that they are mo/mo twins. All mo/mo twins are identical (came from same egg).

The other two types of twins are di/di and mo/di. Di/di twins have 2 different amniotic sacs and 2 different placentas and di/mo twins have 2 different amniotic sacs and share a placenta.

I've had no more spotting since our adventure in the ER, so that is very promising. Spotting is more common in twins and other multiples. We decided to chalk the spotting up to the fact that they are already fighting and bickering in the womb. lol :)

I am anxiously awaiting our next appointment. It seems like a million days away. Not only is it on my birthday, but it is also on the first day of 2nd trimester... AKA the SAFE ZONE!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Still 2 babies!

We had our second prenatal appointment today and our second ultrasound!

First they did all the basic tests: pap, chlamydia, gonorrhea. Then they filled me in out what to expect out of a twin pregnancy. They said it will probably be pretty difficult because I am so small in stature (aka... I'm nearly a midget.) They also said that reaching 38 weeks gestation is ideal and that's what we will really really try to shoot for. I run an increased risk of pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes with twins. I will begin seeing a high risk doctor at 20 weeks. I will go in every 3 weeks after that for growth scans to make sure that the babies are progressing and growing properly. If both babies are head down I will be able to deliver vaginally, but if one or both are breech I will have to have a C-section.

Then they tried to do a transvaginal ultrasound. They were not able to do the ultrasound in the office because I have a giant cyst from my left ovary blocking the view of my uterus thanks to PCOS. (It's like 8cm in diameter.) So they set us up with the state of the art ultrasound machines downstairs in the high risk doctor's office. They were able to get great pictures with the abdominal ultrasound because their machines are so good! One thing they were checking on in this ultrasound was to see if there was a membrane between the two babies. If there isn't, there are more risks of certain twin related complications such as one twin stealing the blood supply of the other twin. They were not able to detect a membrane today, but they said it may just be too early. The tech said it is easier to see as the babies get bigger. So, with that being said, I have another ultrasound appointment in 4 weeks, which is the same day as my next prenatal appointment. They are both on my birthday, January 29th and I will be at the beginning of my 2nd trimester. They are doing this ultrasound to 1. check on the membrane and 2. to check growth.

On a good note, I think I've finally stopped losing weight. During the pregnancy I'm supposed to try to put on about 30lbs. Not sure how that's going to work out with the gastric bypass, but my ob/gyn said the most important thing for me right now is getting enough calories. So if the only thing I can eat is ice cream, then so be it because my prenatal vitamins will help with the nutrients my food is lacking at least until the 2nd and 3rd trimesters.

Baby A - This baby is measuring 8w5d with a heart rate of 154bpm. It is already a little mover and shaker. It gave the ultrasound tech a hard time getting it's heart rate because every time he would get locked on and start scanning it the kiddo would wiggle. The baby's rump is on the left and head is on the right.

Baby B - This baby is measuring 8w6d with a heart tate of 173bpm. So far it seems to be the more mellow of the two. This baby's rump is on the left and head is on the right as well.