This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

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Saturday, June 23, 2012

What is going on!?

So this month I'm uncertain if or even when I might have ovulated. This sucks. A lot. I guess I should be used to it because really it's just the same old shit as always, but I really was hoping things would work out after surgery. It was the month for my "lazy" ovary though. I've always had trouble with the one side producing eggs. This just all really discourages me. I really do feel like I went through all of this for nothing. Deep down I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I KNOW that I will have a healthier pregnancy and life now that I'm not overweight, but that's not the main REASON I went through all of this. Life is just a rollar coaster now. Based on a 29 day long cycle I should get my period next Saturday. I guess we will see if it shows up on time. Maybe based on my period I can estimate back to when I might have ovulated. Yesterday I had some cramping in the ovary area. It was CD21 which is late even for me to ovulate. I guess I will know if my period shows up a week late that, that was when I ovulated. I know not to even bother getting my hopes up this month because there wasn't a whole lot of BD to be had. Between me being so sick and the husband getting sick, it just didn't happen too often. Oh well... I'm not sure if being apathetic is better than being depressed, but I'm starting to turn towards just not caring or trying to pretend I don't care.

1 comment:

  1. mine had been extremely jacked up since December! I could predict down to the day and hour I would get my period now irs 7-8 days late so I've gone from a 28-29 day cycle to a 31-32 so I don't even know if I'm ovulating anymore and it's extremely discouraging. Not that the chances to get pregnant were very good in the first place with all our fertlity issues but it so was nice to think as long as my cycles were normal I at least had that. well not anymore i guess! gah!


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