This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

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Sunday, November 14, 2010

Infertility means you're always the bad guy

So I've come to see that being infertile and going through this hard journey means you're always the bad guy. Everyone else is always inherently perfect and you can just never measure up to them and their egg producing, sperm swimming, baby making perfectness.

You tell someone that you're sick of them bitching about their kids all the time --- you're the bad guy because you've NEVER been a parent and don't know the hardships of being a parent.

You tell someone that is prego that you can't take them bitching about being pregnant anymore --- you're the bad guy because you've never been pregnant and don't know how hard it is dealing with morning sickness and feet swelling and aching boobs.

You tell someone that is prego that you can't handle their ever status updating being about their pregnancy --- you're the bad guy because you're obviously not happy for them and if they were in your situation they wouldn't feel like that. It's not that I'm not happy for you, its that I'm heartbroken for myself because it should be my turn, damn it. And honestly, unless you've been in my situation you don't know how you'd feel so just stfu on that note.

You tell someone that is prego that you're going to delete them off your facebook because their status updates are hurting you and making you sad --- they get mad at you because... well I don't know why, but the just get mad at you.

You can't get pregnant --- you're the bad guy because you're husband deserves to be a father; he would be a great dad, but once again you're a fucking failure because you have jacked up ovaries.

You tell someone that it's unfair for them to leave you out of things just because you aren't a mother --- you're the bad guy because how dare you want to spend time with other adult women even if they do have kids.

You try to offer advice to friends tha are parents --- you're the bad guy because you're not a parent and therefore know absolutely NOTHING about being a parent... nevermind the four year teaching degree you have and the years of experience you have in working in a day care... NOPE you've never popped a kid out of your vagina therefore you know NOTHING about raising a child.

Yep... you heard it here first... I'M THE BAD GUY! I'M always IN THE WRONG!!!


  1. i think everything you just said is so true! dont let people bother you (i know it is hard) remember you need to be happy for you not sad because of someone else.

  2. I was there once. I was sick of it I hated when my sister had her daughter. 5 years of trying, to be told you can't have kids by your doctor kills you :( I'm sorry your going through it. If you ever want mine you are more than welcome to them!!!

  3. You know I'm with you on some of those, it gets on my nerves to hear people bitch about being pregnant, and even more with the constant post and pictures of damn baby bumps. Really? I don't want or have a need to hear, see or read all this crap every single minute.

    Of course I don't want kids, don't get me wrong kids are great as long as I can give them back. Don't let others bother you Mary, I understand your friend getting mad because you wanted to delete her. I have had friends delete me because they don't like my "french" hahaha but you can't take shit like that personal.

    You need to be happy and just worry about you and your life. Fuck everyone else, you only have one life to live enjoy it CARPE DIEM!

  4. For a while I couldn't hang out with my best friend because it hurt me so much to see her and her baby together. Everytime I'd go over that's all we would talk about, and it hurt so bad. I knew she didn't do it on purpose because she was just very excited about her baby.Although I do feel like some people do like to rub it in other's faces. I didn't stop being her friend because I knew it would pass, but I vowed to my husband that if and when we got pregnant that I wouldn't be "rubbing" it in anyone's face like some people do. I knew there are some people on my friends lists that have suffered miscarriages and infertility issues and did not want to disrespect their feelings. you are entitled to feel like you do, and don't let anyone tell you how to feel. The struggle is real and it's hard. Just know that Me, Azura, and little Mocha are here for you whenever. :]


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