So... tomorrow will mark 3 weeks since surgery. As of a few days ago I'm down 20.5 pounds. I haven't weighed myself in a couple of days and I know I'm a bit bloated because AF should be showing up any time now.
Looking back at the journey I've had thus far, I can honestly say it has been 100 times easier than I thought it would be. I haven't had any complications. I rarely feel hungry. I literally have to remind myself to eat. I haven't had trouble with any foods so far. I'm starting to really get my strength back. I go back to work next week and I'm sure that will make me pretty tired. Chasing a bunch of one year olds after surgery is sure to tucker a person out. Surprisingly, I'm doing okay with the not being able to try for a baby thing. I thought I would have more trouble, and maybe as time progresses I will. As of right now, I'm so delighted when I step on the scale that I forget about it. I know I did the right thing. I know I will be healthier in the long run. Isn't that what we all want? To be healthy and happy for our children.
I know November is going to be a bit rough. My due date is fast approaching for when Baby Hope would have been born. It's a day that will forever be in my memory 11/11/11. It also happens to be Veteran's Day. I've been invited to a couple of baby showers around the time of my due date. I think I'm just going to have to tell them I can't go. Sure, I will feel like a bad friend. Other people will probably think I'm a bitch. At this point I think my own personal happiness and sanity is much more important. I have to stay positive. I have to keep moving forward. No regrets... just the road ahead of me.
Also, Thayer and I's third anniversary is less than a month away. I can't believe it has already been three years. We've been through a lot... a LOT. Infertility, miscarriage, major surgery, military... the list goes on and on. Honestly, I think we are 100% stronger for all that we've been through. Yes we fight. Sure we're not perfect. But I think we're perfect for each other. Sometimes we get on each others nerves. Sometimes we yell. But in the end we always kiss and make up and everything is okay. I love Thayer and I'm not sure what I would do without him by my side.
I know November is going to be tough on you but I know you will make it through!
ReplyDelete20.5 pounds? You go girl! I'm glad your recovery is going well and that it's been easier than you thought it would be. As far as the baby showers, you need to do what's best for you. If your friends are true friends then they will understand that you're happy for them but just a little sad for yourself, especially with the timing of their showers. If they're not understanding, screw them. You have to take care of yourself first. It's the only way you will make it out of this infertility battle alive.