So... tomorrow will mark 3 weeks since surgery. As of a few days ago I'm down 20.5 pounds. I haven't weighed myself in a couple of days and I know I'm a bit bloated because AF should be showing up any time now.
Looking back at the journey I've had thus far, I can honestly say it has been 100 times easier than I thought it would be. I haven't had any complications. I rarely feel hungry. I literally have to remind myself to eat. I haven't had trouble with any foods so far. I'm starting to really get my strength back. I go back to work next week and I'm sure that will make me pretty tired. Chasing a bunch of one year olds after surgery is sure to tucker a person out. Surprisingly, I'm doing okay with the not being able to try for a baby thing. I thought I would have more trouble, and maybe as time progresses I will. As of right now, I'm so delighted when I step on the scale that I forget about it. I know I did the right thing. I know I will be healthier in the long run. Isn't that what we all want? To be healthy and happy for our children.
I know November is going to be a bit rough. My due date is fast approaching for when Baby Hope would have been born. It's a day that will forever be in my memory 11/11/11. It also happens to be Veteran's Day. I've been invited to a couple of baby showers around the time of my due date. I think I'm just going to have to tell them I can't go. Sure, I will feel like a bad friend. Other people will probably think I'm a bitch. At this point I think my own personal happiness and sanity is much more important. I have to stay positive. I have to keep moving forward. No regrets... just the road ahead of me.
Also, Thayer and I's third anniversary is less than a month away. I can't believe it has already been three years. We've been through a lot... a LOT. Infertility, miscarriage, major surgery, military... the list goes on and on. Honestly, I think we are 100% stronger for all that we've been through. Yes we fight. Sure we're not perfect. But I think we're perfect for each other. Sometimes we get on each others nerves. Sometimes we yell. But in the end we always kiss and make up and everything is okay. I love Thayer and I'm not sure what I would do without him by my side.