This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

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3 years and counting

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Friday, October 7, 2011


So... I know there are certainly some people in this world that think I'm a bitch. Yep, I sure can be one. I'm not denying that at all. Everyone has their moments. Frankly, I don't give a crap if a few people in this world don't like me. No sweat off my back, ya know?

I know that my real friends and good family members (yeah.. I have a few family members that aren't so hot) know the real me and what a great person I am. That being said... I want to share to amazing reasons why I'm a great person. Yes... damn it... I am tooting my own horn.

I've always been involved in charities. Since moving to Minot, I have found it hard to find something I loved and cared enough about to go out and support with all my heart and soul. It was a lot easier to do back home where I had connections or even on campus at Missouri State because there were so many wonderful volunteer opportunities. I used to be involved in everything possible. Why not? I usually didn't have anything better to do and helping people gave me peace. It was good Karma! :)  Like I said, after moving to Minot I just couldn't sink my teeth into anything then I had a LIGHT BULB!.... and then ANOTHER LIGHT BULB! What better way to give back than to help women and families going through exactly what I'm going through!

Light Bulb Numero Uno -- Sock it to Infertility
"Sock It" was a project that I started during National Infertility Awareness week. I collected socks to mail out to women going through infertility treatments. Originally it was just going to be for a short time, but I decided to keep it going. Currently I have sent socks to 28 states and 5 countries other than the United States. I have received a great deal of love from my recipients. In each package I send a short, heartfelt letter and a pair of funky socks. Socks, as many of my followers know because they are infertile themselves, are about the only clothes you can wear when you're getting your hoo-haw poked and prodded. Honestly, they just help you feel better. For more information about the program or to donate (I'm actually running low on socks) or to receive a pair of socks... VISIT: Sock it to Infertility

Light Bulb Numero Dos -- Too Beautiful For Earth - A Remembrance Ceremony
I started this event on Facebook for residents of the Air Force base I reside at. As most of my followers know, I have struggled not only to get pregnant, but also through the loss of my first and only pregnancy after over 2 years of trying. Losing a child, not matter when it happens, is heartbreaking. It is something most people can't even begin to comprehend unless they've been in your shoes. I know far too many women at my base that have been in my shoes, and some of them multiple times. October isn't just Breast Cancer Awareness Month... it is also Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month, as proclaimed by Ronald Reagan in 1988. Reagan said, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When a parent loses their child, there isn't a word to describe them." October 15th is the day when people around the world light a sea of candles at 7pm in remembrance of all the babies lost. Most people don't realize that 25% of pregnancies end in loss.

Anywho... The ceremony is something I know will help me heal. I hope that it will help others heal. I hope that it will help others see that they are NOT alone. People don't have to struggle alone. They don't have to cry alone. There is a whole community of us that have experienced the same thing and we should have a day where we can come together, cry and remember our babies. My baby was a person. I love her from the moment I got that positive test and I thought my heart would never ever stop breaking. I said goodbye to baby Hope a little over 6 months ago... and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. November 11th is going to be a extremely difficult day for me. That's the day my angel should have came into this world. Instead I will still be sitting here with empty arms.

If you'd like more info on the ceremony visit "Too Beautiful for Earth - A Remembrance Ceremony"

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