This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

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3 years and counting

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Friday, January 13, 2012


Sometimes other infertiles infuriate me more than fertiles. I know we're all on the same shitty path. I know infertility sucks. I know that losing a baby sucks. I've been there... done that... currently doing it... Some people just aren't very logical.

When I first got pregnant I announced it to the world. I wanted EVERYONE to know. I knew so many people had been hoping and praying for me. I felt it almost necessary to tell them that FINALLY we had some success. Our success, however, was cut bitterly short. I guess it's one of those things you'll never understand until you've been there. You'll never understand that it's better to not count your chickens before your eggs hatch. You'll never understand the heartbreak and pain of having to tell all those people that you failed. I don't understand why so many people announce their pregnancies before they're 12 weeks. I will NEVER make that mistake again. In my opinion, it just makes having a miscarriage 100 time worse because you have to relive it EVERY SINGLE TIME you have to tell someone you aren't pregnant anymore. Maybe people don't realize that 25% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. A staggering statistic if you think about it. You only have a 75% of making it to 12 weeks pregnant.

Also, I know I'm going to come off as completely harsh here... but I need to vent. I DON'T understand how someone can sit there and say they can't afford to save up for a $300 test... or a $100 co-pay for an ultrasound... but then say they can afford a baby. I understand people wanting to have more kids... or wanting to have children period. But.... If you can't afford a $200 ultrasound every month to see if your follicles are growing... how are you going to be able to afford diapers, formula, clothing... all the necessities that a baby will need. Things just don't add up. Maybe it's because I'm blessed to have insurance and will always have that blessing... maybe it's because I was smart enough to go to college, get married, and then start trying for a family. I'm sure a baby is going to run you AT LEAST $200 a month.

Another thing, I'm sick of my tax dollars going to dead beats who just keep popping kids out that they can't afford. I can't even get a tax break for fertility treatments but you can sit on your ass for months.. NO YEARS and live off my hard earned money. RIDICULOUS! I'm so glad that some states are making it mandatory to be drug tested to get government help. They should have done that years ago and it needs to be a policy implemented nation wide!!!

Also.. I'm going to be deleting a few friends off facebook. I'm sick of being pounded daily by the "I'm so nauseous" or "oh my boobs hurt" posts. Get the fuck over yourself. It could be worse. You could be NOT pregnant because you lost your child. Suck it up and be grateful. MILLIONS of women struggling with infertility would LOVE  LOVE LOVE to be in your shoes.

lol sorry for the rant/vent... but it's been a LONG time coming :) Now you may return to your regularly scheduled program... Oh and if you don't like my opinion... I really don't care :)


  1. Infertility definitely gives us a different perspective. We will cherish not only the ups and the downs of pregnancy. Even now that I'm pregnant, in the midst of my dry heaving, I sometimes think, "wow, I wished for this?" but I snap out of it quickly because I have waited almost four years for morning sickness. I would do it again and again. Some people won't ever get it unfortunately and I don't blame you at all for unfriending them.

  2. Oh and I 100% agree with you on the cost of treatments. IVF is a little different since it's a huge chunk all at once but $200 for IUI or something is different.

  3. Sorry I hate fertile bitches that complain how their PG is the worst thing ever. I know of so many infertile women what would kill to vomit everyday for 9 months straight if that ment they could bring their baby home from the hospital at the end.

    I'm 8 weeks and am happy every time I feel nauseous or boobs hurt. Except today I had the worst u/s so far and my baby isn't doing so well. RE thinks I'll MC soon. Today I hate my sore boobs. I don't understand why they need to be sore. Most likely they'll be no baby at the end for me to feed.


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