This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

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3 years and counting

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Monday, October 11, 2010

Ten Days

Ten days until good old AF is supposed to arrive... Ten days until I go back to the OB/GYN and start to move down the path of infertility treatments again. Ten long, agonizing days. Ten days doesn't seem like that long of time, but when you're waiting to know if your biggest dream might be coming true, ten days feels like an eternity. Ten days until I know if I might become a mother or ten days until I once again feel like a complete and total failure. Ten days until tears of sorrow or until tears of joy. Ten long long days.

So I had a dream the other night that I was pregnant, but it was a tubal pregnancy. It wasn't caught in time and my fallopian tube ruptured and caused all kinds of yucky stuff, not to mention the loss of my "dream" baby. In my dream, my friend Brianna was also pregnant and I had to go with her for her first ultrasound on the day that I found out my baby was dead. (She was found out she was having a boy.) I woke up crying and scared. It was a good dream for Brianna because she is going through infertility as well... but it was devastating for me. It felt so real... like my "baby" really had died and I was sitting there watching someone else get everything I had ever wanted. (Sorry Brianna... you know how it is so I know you won't be upset with me for saying that I hope!!)


  1. i get what you mean! i am not upset at all. i still have 22 days till i find out and waiting sucks but all the sex makes it fun lol. im glad in your dream i had a boy lol i swear i would never make you go to my ultrasound. i cant beleive you didnt kill me in your dream for doing that lol. just think you could be pregnant right now!!! good luck!!

  2. Well if it's bad news you will not be cooped up in your house little lady! If I have to go be a stalker to get you out I will!!!

    This is the plan if it's bad or good news we are having a Just Dance 2 Wii night ok. We will order pizza and have just a girls night. You will not be alone that day.


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