This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

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3 years and counting

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Friday, June 17, 2011


Thank GOD it's FRIDAY!

It has been a LONG week. The last 5 days have seemed like they've lasted a month. I don't really know why. Just going through some personal issues I think. I'm pooped today! This week my schedule changed from 9a-6p to 6:30a-3:30p. I'm not really a morning person so the switch has been a little rough. Other than that, Father's Day is this weekend, which is a downer. There have also been more than a couple of pregnancy announcements, people bitching about being pregnant, and people having babies.

Right now I would be 19 weeks along and getting ready to find out what we were having... but instead I have an empty uterus and consequently I will have empty arms. Grrr this sucks so hard. I don't know why this one of the hardest losses I've had, but it is. Some days I'm better and some days it's like it happened yesterday. It's an up and down emotional rollar coaster and there are constant reminders everyday that I'm not going to be a mother this year. Part of me really wants to try one more time... ONE more time... ONE more chance before I have surgery. I'm not sure when my surgery will be exactly, probably August or the beginning of September. I know we won't be able to try in July because I will be gone when I'm supposed to ovulate... but what about August. Will I have time for one last ditch effort? Should I even try one last time before I go in for surgery? I do have one more refill of Clomid... I just don't know anymore. I really need someone to point me in the right direction.

Tuesday is my first appointment with the surgeon... we'll start looking at dates and other things. He will submit my information to Tricare for approval for surgery. After that we wait for approval. Once the I'm approved a pre-op appointment will be made and my surgery date will be set. I guess we'll see what happens and I'll go from there. Tricare usually takes 2-6 weeks to approve someone for the surgery.

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