This is a window into my life.... Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Marriage, Weight Loss Surgery, and finally... a multiple pregnancy.

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Sunday, May 27, 2012

Uncertainty... 8dpo

At this point in time I'm really unsure about how to feel. I'm stuck between feeling hopeful, scared (petrified), or preparing myself for disappointment. I really don't know how I should feel. I cried this morning because I just felt so overwhelmed by everything. Let me explain my current state of emotional upheaval.

I ovulated 8 days ago. Yay! My ovaries worked 3 months in a row. I ovulated on CD17 so that was good. I'm currently in the middle of my two week wait, 8dpo. Now be warned... some of the following may be TMI... I woke up yesterday morning with a great deal of cervical mucus. It was white and fairly sticky. I never usually have noticeable CM after a day or two post ovulation. Additionally, it had a tinge of pink color to it a couple of times. My nipples have also become very sore and sensitive. My temperature is still elevated, though it usually drops about 24-48 hours before I start my period. I also had a little cramping followed by a dull ache for about 4-5 hours yesterday morning. At this point, I think you might all know where I'm going with describing all of these symptoms. If you go back to the month I got pregnant in 2011, these are all exactly the same.

Sometimes I'm not sure if my mind starts imagining things because it is something I want so badly. I'm sure how anyone that knows me well could see where I would have a lot of conflicting emotions.

Mostly I'm scared. I'm scared to be hopeful. I'm scared that if I am I will lose the baby again. Things just seem overwhelming. I know we were supposed to wait, but would "oops" really be so bad? I'm trying to just let things happen. I know I won't officially test until after we get moved. I want to wait the full two weeks.

I would also like opinions and advice. Please, please comment. I need to feel good about this one way or another. I know it wouldn't be the best timing. I'm trying to have hope. I'm trying to relax and be optimistic that things will work out for the best either way.

1 comment:

  1. I think you should follow your heart! My friend had the same sugary, she started 'trying' way before she should have, just like you she was very excited her body was working. Some people judged her -I thought she was doing what her heart felt. She didn't wind up pregnant till r&r which was the time that she was allowed to get it worked out. I seriously think you have been through enough follow your heart! If it tells you to try (or just have sex for fun) go for it! Don't worry about timing, my mom said she was trying for my sister and then suddenly my dad lost his job...guess who found out she was pregnant with baby #2. :) Sometimes babies come at the craziest times, but knowing how badly you want a child, you'd make the best out of the situation!:)


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